LGBT Advent Advice: How to Welcome LGBT People During the Holidays

I thought about simply re-posting my article on this topic from Easter, but Advent is its own holy time and deserves its own post.

For one thing, Advent is a more extended window in which we spend more time with family. For members of the LGBT community ostracized by their biological family, or for those walking in celibacy despite longing for a helpmate, this time can be a very lonely one. For those ostracized by previous churches, this season, with its reflection on birth, redemption, long journeys, and challenges, can bring up desire to connect but also feelings of rejection. Some may slip into a pew in the back of a Christmas Eve service. Some may attempt to avoid festivities. Some find other ways to celebrate.

Some have families and friends that accept them just as they are, and they celebrate much as any straight Christian would.

Here are more suggestions (on top of the ones from the Easter post, which definitely still apply) for welcoming the LGBT community from any background during Advent:

1. Include them in reflective activities that aren't at the church building

Having a Christmas party? Watching a favorite family Christmas film? Going caroling in your neighborhood, a hospital, a senior center? Invite them, sincerely.

One of my favorite Christmas movies is The Nativity Story, which conveys the story of Jesus' birth in a fairly accurate historical context and with high production value. It gives a picture of the condemnation Mary faced as a young, engaged woman pregnant with a child not of her intended. The powerful message, that sometimes the world doesn't understand the full story yet, and that we are planned for so much more than we can understand, is one that resonates deeply with me, and I suspect many members of the LGBT community would say the same.

2. Feed their bodies and souls

This time of year, most families have traditions. Traditional food, traditional activities, keepsakes that are retrieved from attics and basements and placed with care. It took me a long time to realize that being White Baptist is my ethnicity, and during this time of year, I crave my community's traditional foods more often than usual. For me, this is green bean casserole, my grandma's cranberry sauce, stuffing, and a half dozen or so different types of cookies. I have learned to cook most of these, but for those away from home without the skills or time (or ability to eat a whole batch if they live alone), inviting them over for dinner, even on a regular weeknight, can be a very meaningful gesture.

3. Understand if they don't want to participate

Inviting is great. Please do it. But if this person says no, don't press for details. Don't pressure. Don't insist, even if your church is the most gay friendly place in the world and the event is amazing and they would be so super welcome. If they're not ready, they're not ready. The fact that they know that you are thinking of them, sincerely, may be enough for now. They may reach out again. They may not.