Debriefing

It's been a couple days since the ceremony, and Rebecca and I are still glowing with joy. It was an absolutely beautiful day (okay, not weather-wise, but it cleared up when it was important) with so many of our loved ones there. The pictures are wonderful (thanks to our photographer, Jacopo Tarantino), the food was delicious (shout out to the Gone Wired Cafe), and the cake was amazing (credit to Roseanne Sherwood of Nana's Sweet Treats). We also greatly appreciate the support of our minister, Kari Nicewander of Edgewood United Church of Christ in East Lansing.

Our ceremony was a mix of traditional and non-traditional elements. Our vows were as traditional as we could make them, because we found an elegance and strength in that, so they read:

" I, Erin, take you, Rebecca, to be my beloved partner in life, to cherish and honor from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as we both shall live."

On the other hand, rather than a sand ceremony or unity candle, we had a dream jar ceremony. Both of us have a cleaned-out plastic peanut butter jar decorated with the word "Dreams," and we placed inside small slips of paper with hopes, dreams, and wishes for the future. We decided that when we got married, it was no longer appropriate for us to keep those separate, since we were committing to a lifetime together. So we bought a larger glass jar and then had the following liturgy:

" Rebecca, I will cherish your dreams, just as I cherish mine, that together, we might make our dreams into a reality."



One of the staff members at the cafe told us that the dream jars were the most salient element of the ceremony for him, and it certainly was meaningful to us too, especially as our life is in transition and we're learning to make sacrifices for each other.

Tomorrow is Go Time

I can't believe it, but the ceremony is tomorrow! We have the rehearsal dinner tonight - lasagna, salad, and rhubarb pie at Gone Wired. We've also picked up food for lunch tomorrow. We're going to have quite a house full! Most of the guests of honor are coming, as are Rebecca's parents and an out-of-town aunt and uncle.

I have a feeling that I'm forgetting some things, but I'm hoping that it won't matter in the end.

At Long Last

We've been trying to get a price quote from our venue for probably about a week now. We knew they were really chill when we decided to have the ceremony there, so I'm not surprised it took so long. It's been difficult, sometimes, to get hold of our contact at Gone Wired, but once we do, Colleen has always been very nice and accommodating, so I felt confident that things would come together. That also gave us the flexibility to change things at the last minute, something a traditional venue wouldn't allow us.

Colleen gave me a call this morning, and the price actually came in under their original estimate! We'll be able to stick to what we budgeted for food - we were looking at around $1200, which we'll hit with the rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and cake included. Words can't describe how happy I am. We need to get a deposit down by Wednesday.

In other news, I still have some things to pick up before the ceremony, including a changeover bucket from the MSU Dairy Store (super excited about that).

I'm starting to get nervous about everything. I want everything to be beautiful - non-traditional but traditional where it counts, and I want everyone to have a really nice time, eat some delicious food, and spend quality time with us. I'm trying to keep the main thing the main thing - committing to the person I love - and not worry too much about the small things.

Gifts for Our Guests of Honor

We thought hard about what to get our guests of honor (which is what we're calling our sort-of bridal party that doesn't follow a lot of the rules). Apparently traditional gifts are jewelry for women and cufflinks or alcohol paraphernalia for men.

We considered vintage jewelry - Rebecca's parents have an antiques business and Rebecca grew up around that kind of thing - but hunting it down seemed hard. So then we turned to Etsy and perused and perused and perused . . . and came up with an idea we really like . . . with some assembly required.

I won't say any more because I want it to be a surprise, but I'm happy with the way things are going and I really hope the special people in our life like them.

I Kissed a Girl

So the plot for a few episodes of Greek, an ABC family dramedy about fraternity/sorority life at a fictional university, a character, Rebecca Logan, explores her sexual preferences, and this statement occurs:

"Last weekend I kissed a girl. And I liked it. Does that make me a lesbian? I just wish there was a way to know for sure. Like a pregnancy test for gayness."

This reflects the stereotype that lots of people experiment with same sex encounters during their undergraduate years. I have no idea what percentage of people actually do this, but I would guess it's a smaller percentage than one might think.

Unfortunately, this gives people the idea that attraction to members of the same sex is a phase, particularly if people come out later in life. I've run into this, as has Rebecca and at least one other gay friend. This gives people the idea that being gay is a choice, that something will change, that there's no permanence or stability to the life of an LGBT person.

In the show, Rebecca returns to straight life after a few episodes. This doesn't reflect reality for many of us.

After my first kiss with Rebecca, I knew that we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together. Annie on My Mind made so much sense to me; it spoke to me in ways that no other story had (and I was a voracious reader as a child). It wasn't fleeting or transient. I didn't need a pregnancy test for gayness. I finally understood myself and what had been going on for so many years.

I kissed a girl and I liked it.

More on Flowers

I also made corsages for a few people - the men who are guests of honor, Rebecca's parents, and the person who will be running sound for us. Also happy with how these turned out.

Mission Flower Power: Accomplished

I finished the bouquets this weekend! I'm really happy with how they turned out.

Flower Run

Went to Michael's today to pick up flowers for the bouquets. Even though a lot of the stems were half off, it still came to $70 or so, which is about what the first run cost even with a coupon. Still, it's a lot cheaper than having someone else do it even if there is a time commitment (each bouquet takes about two hours, much less than I thought it might), and it's one small touch in the midst of all the things we're skipping (centerpieces, pew bows, favors, etc). Rebecca came with this time and helped me pick out flowers that were a little different than the last time. In addition to flowers for bouquets, we also picked up some additional orchids that were on sale (and we checked in at World Market to make sure that they still have their orchids in stock in case we need more red - Michael's only carries white and purple).

Next task is to find Christmas lights. I meant to do it around Christmas, but things happened and I didn't. We're hoping that a hardware store will carry them - Aco didn't, but it's a lot smaller and didn't seem to carry a lot in the way of landscaping supplies. Our church is down towards the Lansing Lowe's, so we'll be checking there tomorrow.

Lastly, tomorrow is the deadline for RSVPs. Most people have gotten back to us already, but we'll be making some phone calls tomorrow afternoon.

Quick Update

Visited our venue today for coffee/Italian soda. They still don't have their liquor license, so we're thinking that beverage choices might be coffee, tea, lemonade, soft drinks, and Italian soda. That's fine with me - I've been to plenty of lovely receptions without alcohol. Hopefully the cafe will take a little off the price they quoted us.

We made a final decision about the space we'll use for the reception - it will be upstairs on the balcony. We love the feel up there, much better than the downstairs space. There are mostly booths, some rectangular and some round. The advantage to the downstairs space was that the tables are a little bigger and it would be handicap accessible, but I kind of like the intimacy of smaller tables, and I'm fairly certain that none of our guests need spatial accommodations. If they do, we'll find a way to set them up downstairs.

We also tried to estimate, again, how long the banisters are - we're planning to decorate them with white Christmas lights and silk flowers. I think we don't have nearly enough flowers, but I think we might supplement with eucalyptus, since it's cheaper for the amount of length it will give, and that will tie the bouquets and decorations together.

I'm glad we were able to make these decisions, since we have just over a month left until the ceremony. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone! I hope that we're able to get everything done.

First Floral Foray

I've never really arranged flowers before. I mean, I've set up flowers my mom received in a vase, and helped her with a couple projects, but it's never been my responsibility to select and arrange a bouquet.

Here's my first attempt:

I used orchids to match our planned decorations for the venue and added a white lily and white hydrangea. The greens are eucalyptus and ivy. I've decided that I want the bouquets to go but not match. For one thing, it's more fun that way, and for another, it takes the pressure off me if I don't have to exactly duplicate a bouquet. I'll post more pictures when I have another one done.

To bouquet or not to bouquet

Is the question.

We've decided that we won't carry bouquets, since we're coming down the aisle on each others arms. The more I think about it, though, the more I think that our women guests of honor (we're not having a traditional bridal party, since we didn't want to divide up our friends or gender balance) should probably have something to hold. After all, what do you do with your hands if you're not on someone's arm and there's no bouquet?

So I did that thing again, where I spent more money and created more work for myself than is probably strictly prudent. I had some silk orchids already, so I decided to use those and supplement with some other stems. The trick is that I will need to create new stems for almost every individual blossom out of florist wire and tape. I'm hoping that won't take as long as I think it will take.

I've decided that each bouquet will be a little different, since our ceremony is going to be very eclectic anyway. I'll put up pictures when I have something done.

And the winners are . . .

Today was a big day in reception planning . . . our cake tasting!

Our baker, Roseanne Sherwood, works out of her home in a licensed kitchen and she prepared seven cakes for us to try. We're planning on having six bundt cakes for the reception (a bundt generally serves 10-12 people, and we're still thinking 50-60 guests). You can check Roseanne out on Facebook - her goodies are delicious and very reasonably priced.

The cakes, in no particular order, were:

Carrot - spicy, moist, with a lovely twist of orange, this recipe was converted from my favorite carrot cupcake recipe.

Spicy apple - similar to the carrot cake, but sweeter because of the apples.

Chocolate raspberry - almost a pudding cake it was so moist. Roseanne said that she infused it with raspberry, and it showed.

Lemon Poppyseed - a recipe that Rebecca's sister found for me. Intensely lemony and yet delicate at the same time.

Mocha - The perfect balance of chocolate and espresso in a light, tender, moist cake.

Blueberry - This is one of Roseanne's specialty's, and we could see why! It was lovely with the contrast of blueberries on a white cake, and was the lightest and airiest of the cakes we tasted.

Chocolate orange - You know those chocolate oranges that you smash on the counter and then eat in slices? Yeah, it's like that.

So it was a hard decision . . . in the end, we decided to go with everything except the apple. For a fall wedding, the apple would make sense, but given that it was so similar to the carrot cake, we thought it just didn't fit. That choice was validated when we took some of the cake home for Rebecca's parents to try . . . we've decimated all but the apple. I'm really impressed with how much cake we've managed to eat!

If you're in the Lansing area and want to stop by, there's some of a few of them left, and you're welcome to help us devour them!

Just over a month . . .

And I'm overwhelmed. I said I wasn't going to be, I said I was going to be chill . . . but it's starting to get to me. I feel like there must be things I'm supposed to be doing that I'm forgetting (please let me know if you think of any), and it's not too much longer before we need all of our RSVPs in so we can give a count to our venue.

I just have to remember:

I can do this.

This day is going to be wonderful no matter what.

I have the support of lots of people who are willing to help.

Oops!

It's been more than a month since I posted! Now, what has happened in the last month that would keep me that busy?

I presented a poster at the American Association for Applied Linguistics conference in Boston! It was great to network with people and see what's being done in the field. Boston was also a lot of fun to visit.

Other than that, I've been working on papers for class and Rebecca's been studying for classes and trying to prepare for her boards. She had her first dress fitting a couple weeks ago (after a fiasco at the original first fitting where we forgot the dress!) and will have the next one next week. We also registered at Bed, Bath, & Beyond, which was an interesting exercise in balancing thrift and consumerism.

Lastly, we have a cake tasting on Saturday! A few people are going to come out and help us make the tough decisions of which flavors to keep and which to let go. Hopefully, there will be a post about that this weekend.

MI Hate: Bigots

Sorry it's been so long since I posted . . . grad school gets intense. And invitations went out not too long ago. So now it's a waiting game, mostly.

Also, a friend posted this and I had to share: 

MI Gay Friday

It's time for another one of these . . .

11 am - I woke up late this gay morning because I am still very gay sad about my brother's passing and also about the passing of our dear gay friend Sue, one of our most ardent supporters, a valiant crusader for serving the medically underserved, and the coolest grandma I know. (She is not gay, just us.) It may be surprising that gay people can have straight friends, or old friends, or that we would feel sad about things just the way that "normal" people do, but there it is. Sue was so excited to come to our commitment ceremony, and we were so excited to have her there, because she is one of our chosen family members. Someday we will name our gay clinic after her (the clinic will be for gay people and normal people, but we are gay, so it will be a gay clinic).

11:10 am - I start work on gay wiki tasks for the gay module in the gay course I'm working on. As previously discussed, these things are not gay, just me.

11:30 am - My gay, lesbian, homosexual, female partner kisses me goodbye to go to a gay meeting. The meeting is not gay - it is about the medical honors society she's in - just her.

11:45 - I have a gay breakfast of a gay cupcake. This cupcake is gay in the old sense of the word, in that it was confetti with sprinkles (and almond cream cheese frosty, to give it some class). I realize this is not the breakfast of gay champions, but it's what I had in the house that sounded good, and some morning are just sad enough that a cupcake for breakfast is warranted. This is one of those gay days.

12:00 - I return to work on my gay module.

12:50 - My gay, lesbian, homosexual, female partner returns home with a gay surprise - gay Munchkins and gay coffee from Dunkin Donuts. A new DD just opened close to our gay home, which makes us very happy.

1:00 - I return to work on my gay module.

3:00 - I prepare materials for my gay thesis data collection. The thesis is not gay - it's about medical communication between medical students and speakers of English as an additional language - just me. My gay, lesbian, homosexual, female partner has been the medical side of this.

3:20 - We go down to gay campus to meet our gay participants. (The campus is not gay, although East Lansing was the first city in the country to add anti-discrimination policies for sexual orientation and gender expression. The participants are not gay either.) Data collection goes very well.

6:20 - We return home, filling up our gay car with gas on the way. (As previously discussed, the car might be a little gay, given that it is a Jeep and we are lesbians.)

6:45 - I return to my gay work.

7:30 - I eat a gay dinner of leftover black bean tacos and watch Parenthood, a delightfully wholesome show about normal people and their normal lives.

7:45 - I reheat some gay chicken soup for my gay, lesbian, homosexual, female partner so that she can eat while she studies for her gay cardiology examination.

9:00 - I write this gay blog post while contemplating a return to my gay work. I will go to bed in a couple hours and fall into a deep, gay, sad sleep.

Invitations

So you may remember my post about amate, in which I confessed that we had spent more than we intended and created extra work for ourselves.

That consequence has arrived. Tuesday we went to Staples and found an invitation kit for about $35. This doesn't sound too bad until I remind you that we already spent $50 on the paintings.

Now not only do we need to print up the invitations and RSVP cards, we also have to glue in the paintings and tie an accent ribbon. And then of course all of the other things that normally come along with sending invitations.

Fortunately, Rebecca's sister has volunteered to help with assembly, an offer for which we will ever be grateful. We're hoping to get a good start on that this weekend.

I'm hopeful, though, that the invites will be pretty enough to justify all of this work.

MI Love: Bacon

I've come to a realization.

I love bacon.

I used to think that I only love the scent of bacon (and it is perhaps true that I love the smell even more than the taste), but in the past year, I have come to understand that I do in fact like bacon.

My most recent bacon purchase was from Horrock's - we found Kowalski thick cut, which is a meat company out of Hamtramck.

How do we use bacon? One favorite is corn chowder. Apparently, a soup cannot be called a chowder unless it contains bacon, and so we usually do buy bacon for it.

Given that corn chowder doesn't use a whole package of bacon, what else do we do? Another recent use is a facsimile of the Tim Horton's BELT, which is a BLT with egg on a bagel.

Yum!

MI Love: Milk

I grew up on milk three times a day. I don't drink it quite that much anymore, but it's still an important part of my diet.

One milk-based recipe I've been making a lot lately is batido, which is kind of like the Ecuadorian version of a milk shake (batido means beaten). My host mom used to make them for breakfast. Here's the recipe:

Batido de Banana

1 banana
Glass of milk (preferably Bareman's or another MI brand)
3-4 Strawberries, optional

Toss the banana (and strawberries, if you're using them) in the blender and add a few tablespoons of milk. Puree. Add the rest of the milk and hit whip (or frappe, or whatever button on your blender will beat air into your beverage). Allow to beat until frothy. Serve in a tall glass (tiny umbrella optional).

I've tried this with almond milk with good results, if you're lactose intolerant (like Rebecca) or vegan. I'm not sure all milk alternatives would work equally well, since different products will accept different amounts of air beaten into them.

Productive Meeting

Yesterday, Rebecca and I met with our contact at Gone Wired, Colleen, to talk about details related to our commitment ceremony. Our primary goal was to get the schedule worked out so that we can get started on our invitations. Gone Wired has very graciously offered to close for the day so that we can get everything set up in the morning, do pictures in the afternoon, and have the ceremony and reception in the evening. We also decided to have a rehearsal dinner, more because we want to spend extra time with some of the guests than because we actually need to plan who will stand where.

We talked a little bit about the food and the fact that we want to source as much of it locally as possible (there's no way it will all be MI love because of the time of year and our budget, but we're going to make an effort). Our contact suggested that we talk to some of the community gardens in the area to see what they'll be planting this spring that might be ready in time - brilliant, especially because we have friends that work with the South Lansing Community Development Association and Fork in the Road Diner who would probably know such things.

I also discussed the possibility of having the bundt cakes be . . . not homemade. After all, I only have one bundt pan and so much time in the day, not to mention the fact that the last couple bundt cakes I made cracked while coming out of the pan. Our contact is going to give me the information for their bakery so that I can get a quote.

Overall, it was a productive meeting. Colleen has emphasized over and over that they want to be flexible for us and make the day run as smoothly as possible.

Death and Taxes

The two certainties in life are death and taxes. Death entered my life very unexpectedly last month. This month it was time to face taxes.

Tax time is particularly frustrating for LGBT families in states without legal recognition. Not only are there all the regular headaches that come with tax forms, there is no option to file jointly or have a dependent spouse. Decisions about who pays how much rent and who earns interest off of joint bank accounts aren't even questions in the real world - we pay and earn them together. In the tax world, though, we divide them up dutifully, attempting to be accurate. (If you would like to experience the difficulty of dividing such things, make yourself a bowl of soft-set pudding. Then try to divide it into two equal parts by drawing a line down the middle with a spoon and scooping as fast as you can.)

The Respect for Marriage Act would make federal filing easier at least for LGBT families living in states with legal recognition (although it wouldn't change anything for us).

And because Rebecca doesn't really earn money, our taxes were much simpler than they will be in the future. We're at a time in our lives where the lack of legal recognition isn't a huge problem. As we grow older, start earning real money, buy a house, and have children, we're going to encounter more difficulties.

We're committing in the mitten, but sometimes that's a hard commitment to make.

MI Love: Cupcakes

I love cupcakes. They're dainty, small, pre-portioned, and delightful. Our senior year of college, Rebecca and I made 160 cupcakes for her sister's wedding. The guests loved it - there was more flavor variety than there would be in a tiered wedding cake, it was more cost-effective (the time was our wedding gift, and the bride comped us for the supplies), and the visual effect of that many cupcakes on a tier of antique cake plates was stunning.

A favorite cupcake recipe? These carrot cupcakes, which we made for the wedding because the groom likes carrot cake. I've made them a couple times since, and they've been just as wonderful each time.

My previous post discussed my first foray into cooking with beets. Why, you ask? Because yesterday I also ventured into the realm of red velvet cake.

I'm not a fan of Red Dye #40, and regular red velvet uses two whole bottles, but I love the visual effect of a red cake with creamy white frosting. What's a lesbian to do? When I heard about recipes using beets to achieve the vibrant red  color, I was intrigued.

I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to try this recipe - I've probably had it for two years. Someone mentioned baking cupcakes on facebook, and suddenly I had the itch to make a batch too - so I figured I'd scratch two itches with one stone. I altered the recipe slightly based on reading I'd done of a variety of recipes (some with beets and some with food dye). Here it is:

Fabulous Beet Red Velvet Cupcakes
Yield: 24

1 c all-purpose flour
3/4 c whole wheat flour
1 1/4 c white sugar (preferably Pioneer or another Michigan sugar beet brand)
3/4 unsweetened cocoa
2 t baking powder
1/2 t baking soda
1 t cinnamon
1/8 t ground red pepper
1 1/4 cup milk (I used fat free)
1 T plain yogurt
1 t balsamic vinegar
1/2 c butter, at room temp
3 eggs, at room temp
2 t vanilla
2 cups beets, peeled and pureed
(Note that to puree the beets, you will probably need to add liquid. Do NOT add water - instead, use a small amount of milk and deduct that from the 1 1/4 c you'll put in later.)

Preheat oven to 350F. Line cupcake pans with liners. Stir together all dry ingredients. In separate bowl, stir together milk, yogurt, and vinegar (I did this to substitute for buttermilk; if you have buttermilk on hand you can just use that.) Beat in butter, egg and vanilla to milk mixture. Now carefully add the beet puree (so that you don't stain your counter, mixer, self, etc) and beat it in. Add wet to dry (or dry to wet, I don't think it really matters) and mix just until moistened - if you overbeat (or overbeet . . . ) the gluten will start to break down and your cupcakes will be tough.

Scoop into the cupcake pans so that cups are about 3/4 full. I highly recommend using an ice cream scoop, because this allows you to dump into each cup in one fell swoop and gives you nice, evenly sized cupcakes.

Bake for about 20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Frost with cream cheese frosting (whatever recipe you prefer). I added a teaspoon of almond extract to mine.

A few notes:

These cupcakes came out more brown/purple than red. Next time, I will probably reduce the beets to one cup and add a cup of applesauce. I've also read that the amount of acidity in the batter can affect color, so I'll add an additional teaspoon of vinegar to the milk.

The beet flavor was present, but not too overwhelming. I got a hint of cinnamon, but no red pepper. I would increase the red pepper to 1/4 teaspoon next time, and possibly bump up the cinnamon as well. Most red velvet recipes don't call for these spices, but I thought it might help offset the beets, and I was generally pleased with the combination.

Happy baking!

MI Love: Beets

Sugar beets are a major cash crop in Michigan. In fact, Rebecca and I buy Pioneer sugar, which is made from them. (Yet another attempt to Buy Michigan.)

Yesterday I cooked my first beets ever. I've eaten them before, but I can't say that I had any idea how to prepare them. I'm not sure where these beets were from originally, but I bought them from Horrock's Farm Market, so I supported a local business in some way.

I had it in my head that I should boil them, but I'm glad I Googled - I learned that roasting is a good option, and that seemed potentially less messy. So I spritzed my beets with olive oil (using my Misto bottle, which is an eco-friendly, purer alternative to commercial aerosol oils) and wrapped them up in foil, then baked them for something like two hours at around 375F. (I can't tell you the exact time because I started checking them after 50 minutes and kept putting them back for another 20. According to the website I viewed, age and size of the beets affects baking time so much that that's basically how it goes.)

When they came out, they looked like this. After they cooled, I scraped the skin off with a spoon. (The beet roasting directions said that the beets would just slip out of their skin, but that was a lie.)

Next I pureed the beets in my food processor (in two batches, since my food processor was acquired during an apartment transition and is very small).

What did I do then? Read the next post to find out.

Letter to a Friend

On Sunday, my church, Mount Hope United Methodist Church (UMC), announced that the pastor of about a decade will be transferred in July. A church leader then requested that the congregation send input to help match  Mount Hope with a new minister. This is an e-mail I wrote to him.

Hi Mark,

On Sunday, you asked for input as to what the next Mount Hope pastor should be like. I want to share a brief story that might highlight one characteristic of a good match.

 After we moved back to Lansing for graduate school, Rebecca and I tried churches for about a year before we settled at Mount Hope. We weren't looking for a UMC specifically - to be honest, the list we worked off was of gay affirming churches. I had grown up in a church that blamed LGBT people for many of the problems of American society and considered the gay agenda to be one of destruction and hedonism. Rebecca didn't grow up in the church, and we had both gone to Riverview as undergrads, which was much less political than the church I attended as a young adult. However, Riverview was very big and I never felt as though I had become part of a community there, even after four years, so we wanted a change.

 We visited many churches that welcomed LGBT individuals, but didn't seem to joyfully greet Jesus himself. We were seeking a place where we could fellowship with other believers whose faith and worship were vibrant. We noticed on the list of gay affirming churches that there were some UMCs, so we decided to try the Oasis service. After our first visit, we couldn't tell whether we would be ostracized or judged for being lesbians.

Confronting this head-on, I sent Pastor Bill an e-mail asking what the church's position was. He explained that the official stance is that homosexuality isn't compatible with a Christian lifestyle, but "that my longing and hope would be that you would indeed find within our local church community of Mt Hope and Oasis a church family that will accept you without asking you to change.  I would understand if our official position is more than you want to deal with, but I would be honored if you would offer us the grace to welcome you and continue our journey in Christ together."

This kind of sensitivity to us as a group of people who often feel that the church, and by extension, God, does not love us is one reason that we have continued attending Mount Hope. While I know that the new pastor must respect the official position, I hope that he or she will be willing to extend open arms to all families who come in the church doors.

Blessings,

Erin

His Absence, My Absence

I apologize for my absence. My brother passed away during finals week, and I haven't really known what to say. He is absent from his earthly body now, which means that he is present with his Lord Jesus. I grieve knowing that I will see him again someday, but hoping that day will be a long time from now and understanding that I will always miss him deeply.

Josh was a beautiful soul. His kindness, joy, and patience were evident to many of the people whose lives he touched. He was known as the campus unicyclist at Grand Valley State and performed in several talent shows, juggling and unicycling to the delight of the audience. He was also a dedicated runner, posting ever-faster times to facebook. His intramural soccer team, Facepalm, played with enthusiasm.

He was also the only member of my family who planned to attend my commitment ceremony. He acknowledged that he didn't completely approve of my choice, but he was willing to grant me the grace of his love and acceptance in the form of his presence. That meant the world to me.