Two women seeking equality in a state where some couples are more equal than others.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


It's been a couple days since the ceremony, and Rebecca and I are still glowing with joy. It was an absolutely beautiful day (okay, not weather-wise, but it cleared up when it was important) with so many of our loved ones there. The pictures are wonderful (thanks to our photographer, Jacopo Tarantino), the food was delicious (shout out to the Gone Wired Cafe), and the cake was amazing (credit to Roseanne Sherwood of Nana's Sweet Treats). We also greatly appreciate the support of our minister, Kari Nicewander of Edgewood United Church of Christ in East Lansing.

Our ceremony was a mix of traditional and non-traditional elements. Our vows were as traditional as we could make them, because we found an elegance and strength in that, so they read:

" I, Erin, take you, Rebecca, to be my beloved partner in life, to cherish and honor from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as we both shall live."

On the other hand, rather than a sand ceremony or unity candle, we had a dream jar ceremony. Both of us have a cleaned-out plastic peanut butter jar decorated with the word "Dreams," and we placed inside small slips of paper with hopes, dreams, and wishes for the future. We decided that when we got married, it was no longer appropriate for us to keep those separate, since we were committing to a lifetime together. So we bought a larger glass jar and then had the following liturgy:

" Rebecca, I will cherish your dreams, just as I cherish mine, that together, we might make our dreams into a reality."

One of the staff members at the cafe told us that the dream jars were the most salient element of the ceremony for him, and it certainly was meaningful to us too, especially as our life is in transition and we're learning to make sacrifices for each other.

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