Our marriage certificate arrived from Riverside County today! (Well, certificates, actually - we ordered two since we're both changing our names.) I'm overwhelmed with joy. It's validating to have a piece of paper that says I'm officially married. That says that I can file my taxes with my spouse. That says that I would inherit her assets if something happened to her. That says that I would make medical decisions for her. That says that I could benefit from her Social Security someday.
That may help me be on her health insurance. That should help us get our names changed. That would mean we could adopt together if we were in a state with second-parent adoption.
I'm also angry. I'm angry that I had to go all the way to California to get a marriage certificate, because my home state, the one we've both grown up in, the one where we fell in love and became a family, the one where we got our educations, wouldn't issue us a marriage license. I'm angry that Michigan didn't consider us equal, or deserving, of that right.
I'm angry that I feel this piece of paper matters, since most of the straight couples I know don't think about their marriage certificate or the rights it bestows. I'm angry that even with this piece of paper, I know people who don't believe that I'm married. I'm angry that a member of my family told me that I shouldn't get married in California because Michigan wouldn't accept my marriage certificate. I'm angry that she didn't think about federal benefits of marriage, even though she's married, because straight people don't have to.
And it is at this point that I recommit to doing what I can to making marriage equality a reality in Michigan. This year, I took the step of coming out to my family, even though that proved disastrous. I hope that when they think about oppressing the LGBT community, they remember that means oppressing me.
