Two women seeking equality in a state where some couples are more equal than others.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Finally Done

Rebecca finished her exams Monday morning and flew out yesterday to California to be with family there. (She'll be back next Wednesday.)

I gave a presentation today, then finished up a short reflection paper and my e-portfolio and sent them off to my professor. I still have work left to do for my thesis and the course I'm designing, but course work for my third semester of grad school is now over, and if everything goes well, I'll graduate in the spring. That's a little crazy to think about, since it means that I have to finish my course work and thesis in the next five months. Even crazier to think about is the fact that a week after I graduate, Rebecca and I will be taking our vows.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

National Issue: Hillary Clinton's Speech

Hillary Clinton made a bold statement yesterday. "Some have suggested that gay rights and human rights are separate and distinct; but, in fact, they are one and the same . . . . being LGBT does not make you less human . . . ." she said. She went on:

"It is violation of human rights when people are beaten or killed because of their sexual orientation, or because they do not conform to cultural norms about how men and women should look or behave. It is a violation of human rights when governments declare it illegal to be gay, or allow those who harm gay people to go unpunished. It is a violation of human rights when lesbian or transgendered women are subjected to so-called corrective rape, or forcibly subjected to hormone treatments, or when people are murdered after public calls for violence toward gays, or when they are forced to flee their nations and seek asylum in other lands to save their lives. And it is a violation of human rights when life-saving care is withheld from people because they are gay, or equal access to justice is denied to people because they are gay, or public spaces are out of bounds to people because they are gay. No matter what we look like, where we come from, or who we are, we are all equally entitled to our human rights and dignity . . . .

We need to ask ourselves, 'How would it feel if it were a crime to love the person I love? How would it feel to be discriminated against for something about myself that I cannot change?'"

She did not outline consequences for countries that continue to perpetuate violent behavior, justified by legislation, toward LGBT individuals, although in October, UK Prime Minister David Cameron suggested ending foreign aid to countries that do not recognize LGBT rights. Several African countries objected, and Nigeria recently tightened legal discrimination against LGBT people.

Rick Perry, a now long-shot for the Republican nomination, upon hearing Clinton's speech, shared the thought that "Promoting special rights for gays in foreign countries is not in America’s interests and not worth a dime of taxpayers’ money." You can read more about his stance here.

While I don't that the U.S. has the right to control foreign governments (much as we did in a great portion of Latin America and other nations during the Cold War to "prevent Communism"), I believe that it is our right as a nation to give aid to those countries who uphold human dignity. I also believe that it should not be illegal to love someone. And I'm sure that this speech will not change anything overnight, but it is more hope.

And we could all use a little of that.

Monday, December 5, 2011

MI Hate: Joyce Daniels

I do not know Joyce Daniels. She doesn't know me either. She probably doesn't know any gay New Yorkers, if I had to guess.

And yet, as a mayoral candidate (now mayor) of Troy, Michigan (a city right next to the one in which I grew up), she posted on facebook: “I think I am going to throw away my I Love New York carrying bag now that queers can get married there.

There is so much wrong with this. To suggest that one should discard a product simply because it was made in a place with disagreeable public policy is not a new idea. That, after all, is behind the Fair Trade movement. However, Daniels wasn't making a blanket statement that, for instance, she wouldn't keep things made in China because the country has a communist government. She was singling out one group with a hateful slur.

She has since removed the statement, and made some comment that it perhaps wasn't the best language to use, but she said it. She can't take it back. It's floating out there now with all its negative energy and political ramifications. 

This is why I don't identify as queer - I know that it's become an umbrella term for the LGBTA movement for some people, including one of the undergraduate student groups at MSU. But I will not claim hate and ignorance. I will not be discarded like this tote she has thrown out. I will stand up, because for me, that is what Committing in the Mitten is all about.

MI Love: Hazelnut Hot Chocolate

Sparty's is the MSU-brand convenience store. Some of them are also cafes, including the one in Hubbard Hall where I work as a tutor. I'm not always impressed with what I get at Sparty's; I'm not sure they've ever made me a chai that tasted like one. However, they have rocked my socks with their latest seasonal flavor: hazelnut hot chocolate.

I don't know how I've never thought of it. I love hazelnut coffee. I love hot chocolate. It makes so much sense that they'd be delicious together. Thank you, Sparty's!

Yet another reason to GO GREEN!

Finals Week

Sometimes I say that Rebecca and I are just like any normal couple. Well, as normal as a couple can be when one of them is in med school and the other is in grad school. Advanced degrees don't lend themselves well to normal lives.

So a normal part of our abnormal lives is finals week. We've both worked hard all semester and expect to do well, but there's still that looming uncertainty. In my case, I have one exam, a presentation, and an online portfolio. I have no idea how many exams Rebecca has, but probably a lot. She's done a week from today and then will fly out to visit family in California for a week or so. I'll be staying home trying to work on my thesis.

During my undergrad, I once blogged about how school is kind of like a video game - each year is a level, and the end of each semester is a save point. Graduating is beating the game.

Not too much longer.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

My Gay Christmas

Rebecca and I officially started off the Christmas season on December 1st with Christmas music.

A very gay, very sassy Christmas tree followed on Saturday - the tree is not gay, but the decorations might be, given the proportion of purple to everything else.
Finals will then interrupt our jolly season until the 11th, when we are hosting a Christmas cookie collective. If you are in the Lansing area, you should come help and then take home an assortment of sweet treats.

We wish you a gay holiday season!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Floral Global Chic


The theme for our commitment ceremony is "Global Chic." Basically, I want it to be a fun and elegant representation of beautiful things from many cultures. In my travels, I've seen orchids in Ecuador, Peru, and Taiwan, so it just felt natural to have them at the ceremony.


I've been buying them a few at a time with coupons from a couple different stores. (The Lansing World market was out of red out on the floor after my last visit, but I think I'm all set on red anyway.) We'll have four colors: red, pink, purple, and white, which will be dispersed through the venue.

Friday, December 2, 2011

MI Hate: Employment Discrimination

I love so much about Michigan. I hope that's clear from quite a few of my posts.

However, there's a lot of hate here. One of the most discriminatory policies allows employers to fire employees that they even suspect are gay. The Don't Change Yourself. Change the Law campaign is working to end this. One of their more hilarious tactics is a set of "not-gay" recommendations designed to help LGBT individuals stay in the closet. If you believe that people should keep their jobs based on performance, not sexual orientation, visit their website and tell House Speaker Bolger to change the law.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Date Change

So I mentioned in a previous post that we have changed our date. I didn't post why because I didn't want to "out" someone else's news . . . BUT now I think it's safe to tell you:

Rebecca and I are going to be aunts!

Her sister is expecting and is due on June 14th, which was very close to our original ceremony date. While odds were that it would have been okay, we really didn't want to risk that Emily and Greg would miss it. Fortunately Gone Wired still had earlier spots open (okay, so that far ahead, I don't know if they have anything booked; they don't do events like weddings very often). We had reasons for choosing that date, but they paled in comparison to having our loved ones there.

Since we don't know the gender of our new niece or nephew yet, we're calling him/her the Ewok until further information comes in. Yes, as in Star Wars. Yes, there is probably a plush Ewok toy coming for the baby shower. We just couldn't help ourselves.

MI Love: Dairy Store

Michigan State University is sometimes referred to as "Moo U." I wear our land grant heritage proudly, although MSU has expanded far beyond agricultural fields now.

One bonus to a school with a bovine research, food processing, and food packaging programs?

The ice cream.

MSU's Dairy Store is famous for its innovative flavors, including one for each Big Ten School, as well as other whimsical flavors related to Spartan life. My favorites are Frozen Four (bright green mint ice cream with tiny peppermint patties) and Buckeye Blitz (so sue me if I'm in love with the Ohio State flavor - it has tiny chocolate-coated peanut butter balls in it).

Given that our ceremony will be sometime in the hours of 4-5 and a light meal will follow almost immediately, with cake at an undecided time, there might be a need for a snack . . . and the Dairy Store has changeover buckets at very affordable prices. (Changeover buckets are the result of an effort to clean the ice cream machine as little as possible. Flavors are cycled through from vanilla into the more exotic things, leaving a bucket in between flavors that can't be sold at the ice cream shop. These are available to resident mentors for free or to the public for purchase.)

A shout out also to Dairy Store cheese - I love their cheddar for grilled cheese or in chowder.