Two women seeking equality in a state where some couples are more equal than others.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Dear Ben Carson: Who's a Homophobe if You're Not One?

I stirred up a lot of controversy with my post Speaking the Truth in Love, about those who deny their bigotry while insisting that the LGBT community should have fewer rights than everyone else. In it, I assert that people believe
  • "that it's not possible for "nice" people to be bigoted..." but "if you believe that discriminating against people based on their presence in any minority group is okay, particularly if you believe that solely because you cannot imagine the world otherwise, you are a bigot....the honest thing to do here is for you to acknowledge that your position is prejudiced. The honest reaction is that you prefer to be prejudiced and accept the label of bigot/homophobe."
So I'm calling Dr. Ben Carson out as a homophobe and asking him -

Who is a homophobe, if you are not? What is homophobia, if you personally do not espouse it? Is the only way to be a homophobe to actively physically assault members of the LGBT community? Or to support imprisoning them/killing them? 

Don't believe me that he is a bigot? Read this and tell me if he could be otherwise:
  • “Obviously you don’t understand my views on homosexuality. I believe our Constitution protects everybody regardless of their sexual orientation or any other aspect. I also believe marriage is between one man and one woman. There is no reason you can’t be perfectly fair to the gay community.” 
  • “They shouldn’t automatically assume that because you believe that marriage is between one man and one woman that you are a homophobe. This is one of the myths that the left perpetrates on our society and this is how they frighten people and get people to shut up. That’s what the P.C. culture is all about and it’s destroying this nation.”
  • Also, Carson signed the National Organization for Marriage’s presidential pledge, which demands support for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, the reversal of any policy that recognizes same-sex couple’s marriages, 
  • and the end to any nondiscrimination protections for LGBT people

(this is all cited from a Think Progress article about Ben Carson's views of non-straight sexual orientations). 

Advocating the removal of rights from gay people via creative legislation is bigotry, especially now that the Supreme Court has ruled. Believing that people should be fired solely for being (or even just seeming) gay is bigotry. Believing that people should be denied housing simply for being gay is bigotry.

As I have already said, I don't hate bigots, but I do have a problem with the bigoted lifestyle.

And I don't think bigots should get to represent or lead groups they are trying to hurt.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Statement about Spring Valley High

Unusual concision from me:

Society just taught a room full of students that violence brings power and is the way to get what they want.

Society just taught them that it's okay to hurt people when people do something they don't like.

Online commentary has been justifying violence against women for minor offenses, so we're teaching women that future violence against them is their fault, they deserve it, and they shouldn't report it to the police, because the police will also hurt them.

That is the message this incident sends.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Confessions: Why I'm Literally a Lipstick Lesbian Right Now

The word literally is overused in English. I use it with care here, as the direct opposite of the word figuratively, and as taking in the real sense something that often is symbolic.

That is, the idea of the "lipstick lesbian." Also known as a femme, doe, or the more feminine person in a same-sex relationship. I've written on this before, a lot.

Lately, I've actually been wearing lipstick with some regularity, not to seem more attractive.

Nope.

I'm a little ashamed to admit that I have a lip-biting habit, especially when it starts to get dry outside during Michigan fall and winter. Sometimes I will bite the dead skin so hard that it's raw. I need to stop, and one of the best ways to do that is to apply lipstick. It doesn't make me want to stop biting my lips, but it makes me more worried about getting lipstick on my teeth than whatever else I was fussing over. And getting a good lipstick application in means keeping lips exfoliated and moisturized, which for some reason I'm more willing to do for aesthetic reasons than comfort ones.

So, given that this is a lifestyle blog, here are some products I've started using in this journey to break the habit:

Trader Joe's peppermint lip balm - dirt cheap, very moisturizing
Tarte Ritzy lipsurgence - a coral-colored lipstick that for me is a little peachier than my natural lip color, but not so much that I feel weird about it. It stays put pretty well,
Tarte Glamorous lipsurgence - a raspberry lipstick that again, is a little darker and more purple than my natural color, but not too much
Me, wearing Tarte Glamorous and enjoying our balcony for what I hope what won't be the last time this season

Tarte lip exfoliant - helps me keep that dry skin at bay and gets a more even color

Luxury of Believing We Couldn't Lose my Brother

I thought, after my brother's death, that it wasn't preventable, that there was nothing we could do and nothing we could say, and nothing anyone could have done to save him. That it was his time. None of us thought that he would commit suicide. None of us truly, in our hearts, believed that it was possible that we could be living without him.

And I thought, no family could possibly anticipate this. No family could anticipate that their son would be dead. No one could possibly live in fear of that and go on, given what I know about how awful it is to go on when something like that happens.

And then I read about Tamir Rice. About Sandra Bland. About Trayvon Martin. Mike Brown. Amber Monroe. About so many more. I read an article about a woman validating her right to be an "angry Black woman." And I read about African-American families instructing their  children how to behave with the police. How not to be pulled over, because if they are anything could happen and they could be anticipating a life without their children. I read about teaching these children, often so so much younger than my brother was, how to behave in this world that  treats them like they are not people, and I think, that 

these people do anticipate something awful happening. 

Even when it shouldn't, they live with one hand in the idea that something bad could happen. That they must take precautions. And even with those precautions, bad things keep happening, and they keep being blamed. The victims keep being blamed despite everything they have been doing to avoid this. And I think, my readers, my dear readers, how awful it must be to live in a situation where one anticipated that this might happen, aware that they may have to live without their brother, dear sister, their father, their best friends, their loved one, and they did what they could to prevent it, because they believed that it could happen, and they were not successful, and then the mainstream media, the White patriarchy blamed them. 

Whites maligned them, treated them like entertainment, like a news story, treated them like any sin they ever committed justified this death.

Whites watch them struggle to survive waking up every day into their worst nightmare and instead of doing something to stop one more family from having to live through this destruction, society makes it worse.

And I think, what a privilege that we never had to assume something bad might happen to him. What a privilege that in his death, one that might've been filled with rumors, or judgments, given some of the circumstances, everyone said lovely things about him and told us the wonderful stories and we were filled with the happy memories of his life, and every transgression ever attributed to him was set aside for that time. That should not be a privilege. I wish for us that we had believed we might really lose him. Maybe, now, I think that there is a reality somewhere where everything is different and a million tiny things added up means that he survived and thrived, but that if he didn't at least we would have hugged him a little more, called more often, treasured him more.

I wish for others, though, that the world would view the death as a tragedy. My brother's death may not have been preventable, but Trayvon Martin's and Mike Brown's, Sandra Bland's, Amber Monroe's, so many other's deaths were. Their families suffer untold pain on top of what I know. Every family that loses someone too early carries the pain, the emptiness, the loneliness that I know. And they suffer with the knowledge that there is a reality somewhere where everything is different and a million tiny things added up means that their loved one survived and thrived.

And this is why I call for improved gun policy, for better mental health care, for racial justice, an end to transphobia and homophobia. Because to me, it's not just a philosophical argument or a principle. It's not just a slight increase in my tax rate. It's life or death for many. It's joy or suffering for families not so different from mine. 

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Accepting Imperfections, #househuntersdetroit style

We are supposed to have the final inspection done today. As we speak, an environmental quality scientist person is taking an air sample, and soon the inspector will check the plumbing.

The boiler was supposed to be checked today too, but the seller hasn't had the gas turned on, so we can't. And we already have enough concerns without turning on the boiler that we will probably have to ask for a concession of some kind.

We did this before, with the last house that most of you didn't know about. Nothing seemed organized, nothing stayed on schedule, our best faith efforts were ignored. This house feels different. 

I still miss the Florida room from the last house. It was incredibly peaceful and soothing, and I could imagine so much happening there. But this house, the whole house,

Feels filled with stories I don't know yet. 

I imagine we'll have so many family holidays in the dining room. I imagine our church small group in the living room. I dream of a workspace from a converted sleeping porch/sunroom so that I can write and draw and think.
(Picture above: living room fireplace. Below: upstairs sunroom/sleeping porch)

When I say that I am buying this house, it feels strange, because how can this belong to me? How can I own a tree, or a story, or any of this? I don't know how it can belong to me, but I belong here. 

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

MI Love: Greenacres - All the neighbors will stop by

I mentioned yesterday that we had a meeting with our contractor (Rufino Labra of Labra Design Build, who should really get his own MI Love post at some point, but for now you can visit his website to see his portfolio) to figure out if we can afford to fix the house.

I arrived to our house early and sat on the porch to wait for the realtor - and I decided to wave at cars as they drove past. Most waved back. Some called out hello. Rebecca laughed at me, but I'm pretty sure waving was the right thing to do.

We had a productive meeting; I love watching Fino's problem-solving process. We're still waiting on a couple items from the inspection, but we tentatively have a plan in place to get the house livable, though it will be a few years before it's restored to its former glory. (How long? Part of that depends how many of you volunteer to spend a few Saturdays helping with projects.)

And then our next door neighbor came home as we were leaving and stopped to chat; he said once we close and move in, all the neighbors will stop by to say hello. He acknowledged that high insurance prices are an issue and that there are other challenges, but he also said he wouldn't want to live anywhere else, and after every single visit to Greenacres, we can see why.

Now we have to close.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

It takes a village: How my heart missed mine

I've read studies in the last few years suggesting that people living in villages, even with less wealth and development, are more content than many of us living in cities and suburbs. I'm not sure it's the case that the suburbs and cities themselves cause unhappiness, but I drive through both with some regularity, and I've noticed things.

I've noticed that keeping up with the Joneses doesn't seem to satisfy. I've noticed that students at expensive private schools aren't happier than ones at lower income ones. I've noticed that many of my families with a stay-at-home mom are still overwhelmed, even with modern technology and the delegation of many tasks and what seems to me to be a lot of financial resources.

And I've reflected on when I've been happy. When my life has felt full. It hasn't necessarily been when I've had enough of everything, but here are a few times:

When I lived in the dorms at MSU (yes, with my S Mason crew) and we played Settlers of Catan almost every night, including while we did laundry so the laundry hexxer wouldn't destroy our clothes.

When I volunteered at Cristo Rey Community Center every week, and the kids and staff there were like a second family.

When I started teaching at Oak Park Alternative with a childhood best friend and we got to have lunch together.

When I found out a friend who likes cooking challenges and adventures lived a mile and a half away and we started meeting up on the regular.

When we joined a church that gets involved, takes people in as family, and tries to meet daily needs.

When I'm at our new house, and the neighbors stop to introduce themselves, chat, tell stories, etc. (Also when I found out that they do neighborhood holiday caroling.)

And I think we can create our own villages. For me, walkability and proximity are really key. I don't do well staying at home, even when my home is comfortable and has everything I need. I love that the side door of our potential house comes into the kitchen, since it feels like that's where I usually am when I'm home. I want to do more than wave politely at my neighbors. I don't want to have to drive long distances to get out of a subdivision. I have a dream that if we ever have children, their friends will stop over often, and I will have piles of shoes in a variety of sizes by my door. Not everyone likes unplanned visits. But as I've mentioned before, I'm okay with people finding out that I'm not a perfect housekeeper. I've accepted that I'm not Martha Stewart. And I've also accepted that I need a village.


Monday, October 19, 2015

Confessions of Weekday Dinners: Raise Quality with Lowered Expectations

Confessions: I don't cook nearly as much as I used to. And I probably don't eat all of my fruits and veggies every day. And I don't budget as well as I should. But I'm doing pretty well for now, and a few people have asked me to share how I pull off some semblance of home cooking on my chaotic schedule.

Another confession: I don't have children. Right now, I'm not completely on a full-time schedule. And we're in a more solid financial situation, so my budget isn't as tight as it used to be.

So: there is NO judgment in this post. If you have had to order takeout, or serve pizza out of your freezer, or served people cereal for dinner, or whatever, it happens and it's okay and I definitely do it sometimes too. This post isn't supposed to guilt you or shame you or anything like that. I just wanted to give a few ideas that might lighten your load.

1. Lower your expectations

I love buying and prepping fresh veggies, especially from the farm market or my own backyard. I love long, intricate food prep and infusing the exact right flavor blend.

When I have time.

When I don't, though, those veggies sit in my veggie drawer and wilt, I end up trying to salvage them past peak, I don't get to use them for the dishes intended, and I feel guilty when I sometimes have to throw them out (and don't compost because composting got too hard in our apartment situation).

The fix: acknowledge that frozen or canned veggies are sometimes okay, or pre-chopped things from the grocery store if you can budget for them. Canned tomatoes actually taste better in the winter unless you're splurging on local hothouse ones (which you should do if you can, but . . . ). Frozen veggies don't have added salt and are pre-washed, pre-chopped, easy additions to soups, stir fries, casseroles, etc. Using leftovers, also okay. Prepping ahead, okay. One-dish meals, okay. Not serving an Instagram-worthy plated dinner, okay. Give yourself permission to do what works, even if it's not ideal.

2. Plan ahead and delegate as necessary

I have quite a few items that are staples - I know I'm going to use them, so I keep them on hand. Here's a link to stuff I stock in my fridge, and another link for pantry items. I also try to look about a week ahead in terms of how much time I'll have to cook/shop and set myself up for that. If I'm going to need chicken for multiple meals, I'll slow cook or bake it a day or two ahead sometimes, or I'll simmer a pot of black beans or slow cook a pork shoulder butt thingy and then make three separate meals from those. Rachael Ray's cookbooks can give you ideas for this if you're not sure how to make it work for you.

Also, unless you live alone, there's probably someone who can be helping - a partner, older child, cat (okay, just kidding, don't make your cat help). Think about tasks they can work with you on. I have pretty good estimations at this point about which meals I have to do myself (usually because they use my secret seasoning blends or are kind of time consuming) and which things someone else can do. If you have to teach someone how to do a few things, it's probably worth it in the long run, unless you enjoy being solely responsible.

3. Make dinner salads and soups

My go-to option for a quick, healthy dinner is salad or soup (especially soup I can make in a slow cooker . . . are you seeing a trend?). These are relatively easy to set up as one dish meals, don't require lots of stirring, and are easy to customize. Oh, and for added convenience and to lower your grocery bills (plus increase nutrition): skip meat, or go light on it. Having to thaw and/or cook it adds time, it often adds fat to your meals, it's one of the more expensive things, pound for pound, that you can be buying, and generally, it's going to decrease your creativity/flexibility if you feel like you must include it. The average American isn't short on protein (unless you're a body builder). We ARE short on the nutrients we get from fruits, vegetables, legumes, whole grains, etc. That's not to say you have to go vegan, but you might be surprised how much time/money you can save by cutting back on meat.

Okay, so what does this look like for a week? Here's this week's plan (though it's subject to change):

I took stock of my schedule/fridge/pantry last night and checked in with my wife and roommate about grocery items we're short on and then started a grocery list. Since I'm working 3:30-5:30 pm and 6:30-7:30 pm, I won't be home to make dinner tonight, so I got a vegan black bean chili (tomato paste, diced tomatoes, frozen corn, adobo sauce from a can, salsa, quartered fresh onions, drained black beans) started in the slow cooker this morning that I hope will feed us for today and tomorrow.

I already know that I'm not going to be home evenings much this week and that the helpmate or roommie like salads with romaine lettuce, so I picked up some cranberry goat cheese (seasonal at Trader Joe's - most affordable place in the area to buy nice cheese) and romaine hearts. We already have fresh apples, pecans in the freezer, and I made up a vinaigrette yesterday that we can throw on top. It'll be up to them whatever else they add. This can be packed up for lunches or used again a different day with different dressing or toppings (I think we have dried figs and Craisins in the pantry) for another easy meal.

Last for-sure item: lentil tacos. I can make up the lentil filling (lentils, onion, garlic, adobo sauce leftover from the can opened for today's chili) ahead and then it reheats pretty well, and the rest is just warming tortillas, shredding lettuce, prepping tomatoes - I put out Greek yogurt instead of sour cream (because as mentioned in a previous post, it's always in my fridge and reasonably healthy), salsa, avocado if I have it - but you can top them however you want. So tacos, another go-to, flexible meal option.

One Last Confession: I have stuff for chicken casserole like my mama used to make for us. I was supposed to make it last week and didn't. I'm kind of thinking I might not get to it this week either. Basically, it's diced pre-cooked chicken (and mine is frozen right now, which prevents spoilage but adds to how much I have to plan) mixed with a can of cream soup and frozen veggies, spread into a 9 by 13 pan and topped with biscuit dough/batter (I have some biscuit mix I've been meaning to use up). Not hard, but I have to be home while it bakes and it's not really make ahead. Maybe if I get it set up, the roommie can throw it in the oven at an appropriate time? It's an ultimate comfort food.

I hope to get time together to make pumpkin bread - I picked up canned pumpkin a couple weeks ago and haven't used it. We also have a pie pumpkin that's currently being an adorable balcony decoration, but if I'm really ambitious I might bake and puree it. Maybe I will mix the dry ingredients and put them in a jar? This is effectively making my own pumpkin bread mix, which lets me work in the ground flax, whole wheat flour,  and oatmeal I like, but like I said, no shame in using a box if you have to.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Detroit Home Inspection: Stuff Gets Real

We had our home inspection today - well, most of it, though the water isn't inspected yet because the seller did something weird (and probably not legal) to it that made it hard/unsafe to turn on. And the boiler will need to be cleaned before it's safe to run.

So you can guess where the rest of this post is going.

The inspection isn't what we had hoped for. There's more moisture in the basement, there's some asbestos, looks like there are significant problems with the heating system (it's still on steam heat, which we knew, but the heat might not be working, which we didn't). We need to do some exterior repairs, there are a lot of invasive trees in places that aren't really safe, there are drainage problems -

Yes, we knew buying a ninety year old home in Detroit meant some problems. We were just hoping not this many and not this bad.

We did, however, meet more of our neighbors - one right next door and one from across the street. Both were lovely and friendly and we got some good information about the neighborhood, the house, our seller, etc. I absolutely love this neighborhood and really want to live in it. It does turn out that home values there are higher than we anticipated, so if we successfully repair this house, it would be a good investment. The next door neighbor is an electrician who did the wiring recently and stands by his work. The neighbors took turns cutting the grass when the seller/landlord didn't. The neighborhood association has been pressing the seller to maintain his properties better. And part of me doesn't care that much if the house ever appreciates or we turn a profit on it if we get to belong to a community like this.

It'll be more than we hoped to have to get done, though, and I don't want to do something that will jeopardize us financially. We're waiting for the full inspection report to come in, and also to see our contractor's bid. And then we have the appraisal to decide if our renovation plans are worth it.

I'm not patient. I'm not calm. I'm just not, that's not me, for those of you who know me. And I have to be patient here, so I might as well work on being calm. Until the information is all in, we can't and shouldn't make any decisions. We're not obligated to buy this house if it could end in financial disaster. We may well find that it won't end in ruin.

So now we wait.

Confessions: Why I'm Growing My Hair Out

I've been in the process of growing my hair out for the last four years or so - I chopped it off shortly before I started my MA in 2010, loved it for a year, and then started the process of growing it a year or so later. There were some awkward stages, but by 2012, I was well on my way.

It's gotten really long now, past the point I planned. Some days, it's unmanageable, though hairstyles like this manage to tame it:
This upside-down French herringbone into a bun is a little tricky to do, but it's one of the best methods I've found for securing my hair out of my face and off my neck. To do it, start a French two-strand braid near the nape of your neck (hang your head down or have a friend help), then add pieces from the sides until you get as high as you want, gather the rest of your hair, and then braid to the end and tuck into a bun. 

I've written about passing for straight, beauty standards, my personal style, skincare, and signaling behavior including long hair as a way of passing or not, but it's not about any of those things. The real reason is a little silly and a little embarrassing:

I want to braid it like Princess Leia for the Star Wars movie coming out in December.

So nope, no gay agenda today. Just a nerdy love of an epic battle between good and evil. And a desire to emulate a well-spoken, strong diplomat who happens to be a woman and a rebel.

I've been practicing my braiding skills and will have to start a Pinterest board soon (yep, I'm on Pinterest if you want to follow me). I probably won't do the most quintessential double cinnamon bun look, but I'm hoping to evoke the feel.

And I need a LOT of hair for that.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

NO sexy "justs" for fixing Detroit: Justice isn't simple & nothing less will do

A few months ago, I posted an article about master plans to revitalize Detroit and concerns about some of them (particularly ones that assume that all homeowners will leave certain neighborhoods - or be pushed out of them). I don't think I could find it now, but the article surprised me less than one of the comments:

"Detroit just needs more community gardens. Then they'll be okay." (Emphasis mine)
See this face? It means sass is coming.

No. 

Detroit doesn't just need one thing. Community gardens aren't just a thing that can be placed throughout the city as a savior. They are wonderful, and I love them and the people I know who organize them, but they are not enough and they are not simple. No one I know who runs one would argue that. And other than maybe John Hantz, none of them have achieved the mythical financial prosperity promised from them. Not to mention the number of areas of the city where the soil is toxic and remediation would be very resource intensive, the fact that the city has yet to do rezoning to allow even small-scale animal farming (and by the time you get to rezoning, it's definitely not a "just" with the state of city council), or the fact that most people want to pay the same price for sustainably, locally, ethically farmed food as they pay at Walmart --->

community gardens as the monolithic/unitary/simple savior of the city are a non-starter. 

That's been evident to people involved in the city for years, but those recently joining the party/conversation often don't know the complexities - and don't want to be bothered with solutions that would involve giving up their own privilege. Don't mistake me. We should support community gardens as much as possible. I do. I've already purchased my community-supported agriculture share for next summer from a family-run farm in the city. But they alone cannot rescue the city, and we shouldn't ask them to. It is not a just.

Let me repeat: Detroit doesn't just need one thing. They don't just need more downtown development. They don't just need more hipsters or gay people or artists or whatever (read: affluent White people) to gentrify the neighborhoods. The don't just need a Whole Foods, or new stadium, or light rail. I'm not saying these things won't help at all, but these are sexy, cosmetic fixes, none of which individually, and even all of which collectively, will not save the city.

What the city needs is justice. Justice to compensate residents for the redlining, racism, real estate speculation and exploitation, corruption, and other abominations. Justice so that all children in the city receive a quality education and have an empowered local school board that acts in their best interests. Justice such that municipal employees, including police, fire, and teachers, receive living wages, justice so that all neighborhoods are well-covered by these services, justice such that corporate real estate holders pay their share of taxes and utility bills, justice in ending "pay to play" corruption in city contracts. This isn't an exhaustive list, but I hope you see my point.

Justice will work, not because it is a sexy, cosmetic, quick-fix just, but because it is hard and it is the reset that city residents both need and deserve.

And the city can do it, because Detroit hustles harder.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Mass Shootings are NOT Inevitable: I Refuse to Do Nothing

I was hoping my thoughts on the Charleston shooting were enough on this subject, but they're clearly not, since more keep swirling around, mostly coming up as people post fatalistic commentary on social media, basically saying that

These lives were the price we pay for the second amendment.


Some of you at this point are anticipating that I'm going to get really sassy.

For those who aren't yet: I'm about to get really sassy.

As regular readers know, I believe that we can learn from Jesus' choice never to be caught in a dilemma. Therefore: It's a bad option to ban guns entirely.

It's a worse option to keep doing what we're doing.


We shouldn't choose either. We should reject bad options and look for evidence-based strategies to protect our citizens. Because no more families should have to learn what it is to live without their husband/brother/son/mother/niece/wife/cousin/etc. And we shouldn't trample our Constitution (though I have to say, the 3/5 compromise was an incredibly stupid, cruel, demeaning choice and I'm glad we don't follow it anymore - if you need a refresher and can't Google, here is the Wikipedia article on the 3/5 compromise - so unless you would like to argue that there is a way for a human to be 3/5 of a person, don't try to convince me the Constitution was perfect as written).

Don't get me started on the mental health crap. If people were really concerned about that after Columbine or Virginia Tech or any number of other shootings, you would have done something. And my beautiful brother (who never hurt anyone in his life, just like the vast majority of others with mental illness) might have benefited from your mental health reform (because presumably it would have done more than just prevent mass shootings, it also may have prevented suicide and suffering)

and I might have gotten to hug him today when my purchase agreement went through

 instead of wondering what he would have said. But you're not really concerned, because you haven't done anything, because your family hasn't been affected by either a gun-related or mental health tragedy, and you're willing to keep playing the odds that you won't be. And I've tried to see both sides. I've tried to be understanding. I know a lot of responsible gun owners - they lock up their ammo, don't store firearms loaded, use their weapons for hunting, don't point their weapons at anything they don't want to shoot, etc.

But I know a couple that aren't stable. I know a friend whose teenage nephew committed suicide using his father's gun. And I know that we've been seeing these shootings increase, not level off or decrease. So we're clearly doing something wrong.

I don't have the answers for the perfect solution, but what Norway or Australia does seems like something to consider. Funding public health research on the subject doesn't violate anyone's constitutional rights. Enforcing and highly penalizing sale of guns to known criminals seems worthwhile. Because while it's not in the Bill of Rights, here's something that should be:

The right to have one's loved ones alive and thriving as long as possible.

Anyone in for an amendment?

#househuntersdetroit update

I got a text from our realtor this morning, right before church (no, I don't think that the timing was chance) -

The seller signed a purchase agreement! We had viewed a house on Renfrew last Sunday in the batch of five that had a lot of potential and fits our budget (we hope). That puts us closing by the end of November if the inspector (shout out to Sherlock Homes of Madison Heights)  approves and the appraisal goes well and the mortgage goes through- so if you are in the wonderful group of people showering us with prayer, don't stop! 

This definitely isn't the time table we would choose- it puts us moving and renovating in the winter- but if we make it through, it will be more proof that this isn't our doing or our house - it's Divine Intervention. We feel incredibly blessed to see some movement and to be moving forward. 

I'm not sure standing in God's will has ever been more joyful. Can I call you all to take a step toward your calling too? I promise it won't all be days like this, but it is worth it for the ones that are.