Personal style: What's Committinginthemitten wearing?

Getting dressed in the morning. It's one of those things we all have to do. I think for a long time, I viewed it as an obligation rather than an opportunity. Perhaps because of the emphasis on modesty (discussed in Eff Your Beauty Standards and In Definition of: Modesty) or the lack of money (see Confessions: I'll Probably Never Stop) or a million other anxieties or the worry that I would look too gay or too straight or too something, for a long time I didn't put much effort into getting dressed.

I followed rules that were externally imposed: Not exposing too much. Not wearing certain colors. Not combining certain textures. Reserving dresses for Sunday and jeans for casual days.

Enter full-time work at a company that's very casual and flexible in terms of what I wear to work. Enter the revelation that I might be beautiful. Enter the idea that I might get an opinion about what I like and what looks good, or even that it's okay to wear things that don't "look good" - being beautiful isn't the admission ticket I owe the world for existing.

So here are some principles that guide my style choices. None of them (not even the one on leggings, I promise!) are rules that I would impose on other people. And if I ever wanted to break them, I could. But they've been working for me lately in terms of feeling "put together" or like my clothes make a statement I agree with.

1. I don't have to wear shorts.

I think other people look great in shorts. I think other people feel great in them and need them to stay cool. And I suppose if I made a habit of going to the gym, I would wear shorts for that. But I've never really felt good in shorts - ironically, they feel more restrictive to me than dresses or skirts. So I don't wear them. People have tried to tell me that they look fine. I don't really believe it, but even if I did, I would feel uncomfortable in them. So I've given myself permission not to wear them.

2. I don't wear athletic shoes unless the activity requires them.

This is based on advice from Crazy Stupid Love, which is not actually a place to get fashion tips, but I've been loving the way I feel when I skip athletic shoes and wear - well, anything else. I grew up in athletic shoes almost all the time, except sandals in the summer and "dress shoes" for special occasions. I guess it still feels like a special occasion, a little, when I pick out a pretty kitten heel or tall cork wedge or a cute ballet flat. I still wear athletic shoes if I'm say, doing yardwork or painting a house or exercising (except I don't really consider exercise a separate part of my day and have mostly chosen work tasks that incorporate it into my life . . . ), and I get that a lot of other people need to wear really supportive shoes all the time. But I like the way I feel in other shoes and have decided to enjoy that.

3. Dresses and skirts are for whenever.

I wear dresses on casual days, to work, for dinner dates, and to church (I wear pants a lot too). I'm absolutely in love with Banana Republic maxi dresses this season. - I have three of them now, all purchased on deep sale. One is new, so we'll see how often I wear it, but the other two get worn at least once a week, it seems, along with a jersey maxi from Target. I typically wear a tank under them if I'm going to work since the neckline makes me self conscious if I bend over. Or I'll tie or belt a dress shirt over them if I need to seem a little more business than casual. I also got into pencil skirts over fun tights with boot cuffs (yes, I did make my own boot cuffs from old sweaters). 

4. Men's dress shirts are way better than women's.

I'm fortunate to have a small enough bust that I can comfortably wear men's dress shirts, and I do. Most of the time, people probably don't realize they're men's, given the current "boyfriend shirt" trend. Why not buy in the women's section? For starters, the fabric in a men's shirt tends to be better quality. It breathes  better, is less transparent, and requires little or no ironing. Second, the cut, at least in my case, feels more professional. Since the objective isn't to show off my figure but instead to look and feel ready to work, having things right to my breast  or shoulders was counterproductive. Third, I'm able to thrift these better because sizing seems more standard - 15-15.5 necklines in a slim or fitted cut usually work, especially from Banana Republic (are you noticing a trend?) and Express.

How do I style them? Lots of options here. I used to always belt them to show off an hourglass figure. Then I decided that was optional. Now sometimes I'll tie a knot in the bottom (over either pants or a pencil skirt) or even tie or belt one over one over a dress. I sometimes use an infinity scarf, or I've been known to wear a short necklace inside the collar and a long one outside of it. 

5. I don't wear leggings as pants.

If you do, no judgment here. I always feel a bit exposed when I do, so I make sure to wear a long tunic, men's dress shirt, or perhaps a knee length dress over them. I resisted this trend a long time, until I realized the layering options I would have and the opportunity to stretch summer dresses into fall.

6. I pick at least one accessory most days.

Necklace, earrings, bracelet, fun eyeliner, scarf, belt … lots of options. I find that wearing accessories makes me feel good about my day. I used to worry, if I wore a lot of them at once or wore statement pieces too often, it would be too noticeable. But I love wearing a button statement piece at the same time as a long tagua one, so people can deal.

That's enough for now. I included recent pictures from a day I think I really pulled off an outfit below - my fabulous gay friend Jack said this was nailing the East Village trend of shopping at Old Navy, thrift stores, and boutiques.

I realized I was really pulling it off, so I snapped a picture for you.

Tahari (thrifted) short blazer (kind of boxy), burgundy long-sleeved T and denim pencil skirt (from Old Navy, of all places to be getting stuff for a presentation), sensible watch, and super fun vintage button necklace (which can be yours if you go to Town Peddler in Livonia and purchase it)