It came up recently with a friend, and so here I am pontificating again (I'm still shocked anyone reads this). And there's the part of modesty I want to hit. Not as much the clothing issue - I think my last post tackled this well. The issue of self-deprecation, especially as women, and then the choice to hide rather than come forth, as well as the acceptance of unacceptable treatment based in part on that thought pattern.
I'm not saying that true modesty isn't a virtue. I'm saying that we've misdefined modesty and that there's a double standard when it comes to men, women, and modesty.
So here's what I see as the current definition/application of modesty: women should be covered up according to whatever standards society - including men, but just as much other women - decides. Their bodies should be covered with clothing. Again, see my previous post. Other parts of them should be covered in silence, shrinking, deference, and acceptance. They shouldn't preach, according to many churches, even when they have the gift of teaching and shepherding. They shouldn't show anger or aggression. They shouldn't look good at math and science if they want boys to like them. They shouldn't make too much money. A woman's place is in the home raising children full time.
ALL of these contribute to an environment where women hide their gifts, or in some cases never see them in the first place. They are dissuaded from solving the problems the world faces (in addition to intentional attempts to stop them of course). This twisted version of modesty is doing incredible harm.
And here's what it should be, in my own words, not pasted from Merriam Webster: modesty is a practical estimation of we can do, based our skills, talents, and practice, with the support of others and a higher power, in terms of bringing a better world about. It's focused on function, much like clothing should be chosen based on purpose. It lacks boasting, but also entirely excludes self-deprecation.
I'm still working on it - but thanks for reading, even if I'm still surprised. I appreciate you.
And here's what it should be, in my own words, not pasted from Merriam Webster: modesty is a practical estimation of we can do, based our skills, talents, and practice, with the support of others and a higher power, in terms of bringing a better world about. It's focused on function, much like clothing should be chosen based on purpose. It lacks boasting, but also entirely excludes self-deprecation.
I'm still working on it - but thanks for reading, even if I'm still surprised. I appreciate you.
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