I've read studies in the last few years suggesting that people living in villages, even with less wealth and development, are more content than many of us living in cities and suburbs. I'm not sure it's the case that the suburbs and cities themselves cause unhappiness, but I drive through both with some regularity, and I've noticed things.
I've noticed that keeping up with the Joneses doesn't seem to satisfy. I've noticed that students at expensive private schools aren't happier than ones at lower income ones. I've noticed that many of my families with a stay-at-home mom are still overwhelmed, even with modern technology and the delegation of many tasks and what seems to me to be a lot of financial resources.
And I've reflected on when I've been happy. When my life has felt full. It hasn't necessarily been when I've had enough of everything, but here are a few times:
When I lived in the dorms at MSU (yes, with my S Mason crew) and we played Settlers of Catan almost every night, including while we did laundry so the laundry hexxer wouldn't destroy our clothes.
When I volunteered at Cristo Rey Community Center every week, and the kids and staff there were like a second family.
When I started teaching at Oak Park Alternative with a childhood best friend and we got to have lunch together.
When I found out a friend who likes cooking challenges and adventures lived a mile and a half away and we started meeting up on the regular.
When we joined a church that gets involved, takes people in as family, and tries to meet daily needs.
When I'm at our new house, and the neighbors stop to introduce themselves, chat, tell stories, etc. (Also when I found out that they do neighborhood holiday caroling.)
And I think we can create our own villages. For me, walkability and proximity are really key. I don't do well staying at home, even when my home is comfortable and has everything I need. I love that the side door of our potential house comes into the kitchen, since it feels like that's where I usually am when I'm home. I want to do more than wave politely at my neighbors. I don't want to have to drive long distances to get out of a subdivision. I have a dream that if we ever have children, their friends will stop over often, and I will have piles of shoes in a variety of sizes by my door. Not everyone likes unplanned visits. But as I've mentioned before, I'm okay with people finding out that I'm not a perfect housekeeper. I've accepted that I'm not Martha Stewart. And I've also accepted that I need a village.
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