Two women seeking equality in a state where some couples are more equal than others.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days

If you had asked me three years ago what the worst days in my life were, I would have had to think about it. I'm sure I would have come up with something, but nothing that I relive, nothing that stands out as much as the three from the past three years.

The first was coming out to Rebecca's parents. While they have since welcomed me to the family in every way, the night Rebecca and I came out to them was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad night. They said many things out of anger and fear that I'm sure they wouldn't repeat now.

The second was the day that, through a combination of circumstances (some our own fault and some not), Rebecca and I became homeless and had to move all of our belongings. Fortunately, a close friend allowed us to store things in his basement and sleep on his floor. We are forever grateful to him for his kindness and generosity. My heart goes out to the many Michiganders who have found themselves without a home during the economic downturn. Rebecca and I were able to find a lease within four days, something that many people haven't been able to do.

The third was the day when my parents and I discussed the fact that I am a lesbian. Their religious beliefs are different from mine, and we had a huge disagreement about the morality of my relationship with Rebecca. I wish I could say that there was a bright spot in this one, or that everything has resolved for the best, but I suspect that the aftermath of that particular terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day will linger longer.

The fact that two of my three bad days have related to coming out is not unusual. For most LGBT people, coming out is a difficult process. While society has become more accepting, reactions still vary wildly. What gives me hope is the fact that my LGBT friends have shared their own coming out stories. In some cases, family members or close friends were accepting at first. In many more, the initial reaction was negative. In most of these, their families eventually came to some type of understanding. I hope that my story becomes one of the latter.

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