Freedom of Religion: Please Stop Saying I'm Discriminating Against Evangelicals

I've been hearing a lot of concern that churches will face repercussions if they continue to oppose marriage equality. A few people have been fear-mongering by suggesting that ministers will be forced to perform same sex marriages that violate their theology. I have heard it mentioned that churches may lose their tax exempt status or that religiously affiliated institutions such as hospitals and universities may lose government funding. I have heard that Christian businesses (a misnomer, since a business can't be religious, only the person owning it can) will be forced to close if they don't serve same sex couples.

I have seen these things a lot. There are really two options in terms of where they come from. One is an intentional effort to push the concept of Christian Persecution Complex (CPC), or the idea that Christians in the United States now are being persecuted and are in danger. For an article that addresses CPC, click here. The other option, and in many cases, I think the more likely one, is that many US citizens lack civic literacy to understand the implications of the Constitution. It is beyond me to remedy that fully.

I have ended up in discussions about this often, with different individuals. This blog post is an attempt to synthesize some of these issues, although I know that one blog post is hardly sufficient; that said, it's a lot closer to sufficient than a Facebook comment. For more info about why I keep writing this type of blog entry instead of answering individual questions or discussions, please see On Being a Unicorn, where I explain my theory behind the relatively active readership of this blog and an additional post on the emotional repercussions for me of being bombarded so frequently with requests to weigh in, entitled Your Questions: My Answers.

So where to start? I'm not sure, so at this point, I'm going to pick something, start there, and see what happens.

Christians are being persecuted for their beliefs. It's no longer safe to be a Christian in the United States. Christians are the real victims.

Let's address this anecdotally, since the availability of statistics outlining the likelihood of the LGBT community to experience homelessness, poverty, uninsured status, unemployment and underemployment, etc, as well as much higher threat of physical violence seem not to matter in this societal debate. It is not my job to educate you on these issues - Google them if you need to or check out Equality Michigan, Human Rights Campaign, Freedom to Marry, or any number of other sites dedicate to this issue. (Kat Blaque makes a much better argument on your responsibility to educate yourself on these issues, if you truly care about the LGBT community, than I ever could.)

I have been a committed Christian since I was five years old and a member of a Christian family my whole life. I attended camps on apologetics training (basically, how to share Christianity to get people to follow Jesus) more than once in high school and participated in Bible study and church throughout college and most of grad school. I still attend church regularly, and though I no longer identify as Evangelical with a capital E, I strongly believe in the teachings of Jesus and their power to transform.

I am also gay. And gay affirming. I believe that my marriage is a Biblical picture of the concept of a helpmate and also of a family teaming up to pursue the Great Commission put forth in the Gospel of Matthew (and throughout the New Testament). I know some readers disagree with me on that particular point, but I make it to lead you to another:

I have never been persecuted as a Christian, not really. 

I have been worried about it. I have perhaps thought that I was. But I have never lost an opportunity because of my faith. In fact, I have gained many. I have never been unsafe for my religious views. No one with power over my life has made decisions that changed my outcomes for the negative because I was a Christian. And I attended public schools and universities for all twenty years I have been in formal education. I have never worked for a religious employer that I can currently recall; all my jobs have been in the secular world. I have not hidden my faith - most people know that I regularly attend church, and some even know that I am Protestant. And when it comes down to it, I don't think very many people in the United States have been persecuted for following Jesus. I think I'm the rule here, not the exception.

On the other hand, I have faced discrimination as a member of the LGBT community.

I have avoided coming out at work in certain schools because I feared that students would verbally attack me and/or have their parents call to complain. I have avoided applying for jobs at certain companies or in specific cities. I have avoided looking at rental housing in specific areas. I have been turned away at governmental institutions when applying for paperwork such as an accurate drivers license, resulting in concerns as outlined in my post "It Happened." I have been subjected to questions on highly personal issues of my sexuality, I have been hypersexualized and propositioned, I have been "teasingly" mocked. Rebecca skipped applying to certain hospitals for residency because they would not have recognized her marriage or given me insurance when it would be promised to heterosexual spouses. (Incidentally, whatever else I say about Henry Ford Health, their HR policies for LGBT families are great.) I fear that in an emergency I would be taken to one of the Detroit area Catholic hospitals that is closer than some Henry Ford facilities and that Rebecca and I would face discrimination, as a family we know did within the last year. Yes, a Catholic hospital. A Christian, supposedly pro-family institution discriminated against a family in crisis. 

And you know, I count myself fortunate, because I have never been violently attacked and likely never will be, but I know LGBT people who have been or who have been close, just for being Gay/Trans. I have never been fired, but I know LGBT people who have been, just for not being Cis/Straight.

You cannot convince me that Christians in general, or even Evangelicals in particular, are being persecuted. You cannot convince me that the LGBT community is NOT being persecuted. I have seen the statistics, but I have also lived both. If anything, the LGBT community is being persecuted because of beliefs of a specific subset (and a very specific and shrinking one, at this point) that have been codified into law despite separation of church and state, despite laws against violence, murder, despite in some cases job requirements, legal requirements, etc.

I defend your right to believe whatever your interpretation of Scripture using your version of exegesis says. I defend your clergy's right to refuse to marry whomever he likes. I defend your church's right to gather and worship in the way they see fit, your right to parent as you see fit, even your right to teach your children that my family/marriage is "less than." But I will not agree that you are persecuted. It is not your right to maintain positive public opinion, nor is it Biblical.

I am not persecuted as a Christian. I am persecuted because of my same sex marriage.