Two women seeking equality in a state where some couples are more equal than others.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

It Happened

I was on my way home from work when I saw them. The red and blue flashing lights behind me made my heart sink. No one likes being stopped by the police, but I will be particularly fearful until we can get our documents corrected.

I pulled over into a parking lot, rolled down my window, gathered my license, insurance, and registration, and waited for the officer. Here's the thing. The address on my license is wrong because we moved six weeks ago and I haven't changed it. I won't, because I just can't deal with the Michigan Secretary of State right now. I guess if it comes down to it closer to election day and this hasn't been resolved, I'll have to decide whether to bite the bullet or get an absentee ballot. My name with the insurance company is Busk-Sutton, I think. My name on my license and registration is Sutton. I've been told it doesn't matter if the names don't match because it's fine if someone else pays for my insurance. The thing is that someone else doesn't pay for it. I do. That seems confusing, and that can't possibly make a traffic stop easier.

It turned out that the officer believed that I may have gone through a red light getting off the expressway. I told him that I didn't believe that I had, but that I was sorry if I had, and that obviously it is wrong to go through red lights. I had a few things on my side. I'm white, for starters. I'm also a reasonably attractive young female. It doesn't hurt either that I'm polite (when the situation calls for it) and that I have no prior moving violations.

In the end, he reviewed the video from the intersection and said that it was actually green and it was fine. I was let off with not even a warning.

I recognize my privilege. He didn't have to review that video. The light was probably yellow, it was a judgment call, and there wouldn't have been much I could do if he had written a ticket. I had a lot of things on my side.

I also recognize my lack of privilege. Before I was out, before I was married, before my relationship was regarded as legal limbo, I didn't have this fear. I didn't wonder how much to say or how suspicious it would look. Soon, we will have enough money to get a passport card or updated passport, and I can use that for everything - except for what happened today. I've been telling myself that I don't get stopped, that I'm a careful driver, that it will be okay.

It was today. I guess I should be thankful.

No comments:

Post a Comment