Baltimore, Wedding Cake, and Heartache

Dear readers,

The last few days have been highly emotional ones.

The demonstrators in Baltimore have brought to light even more oppression in the United States, and at the same time, a select few people have further damaged a city that was already struggling.

The Supreme Court has heard oral arguments on marriage equality. Issues of religious liberty continue to spark explosive debates about the balance of following the legal system in place in a nation while expressing one's religion freely - and this will not be decided by the outcome of the marriage equality case in front of them. In addition, I've been continuing to see, or perhaps even seeing more of, discussions justifying reparative therapy and putting forth the notion that it's possible to "pray away the gay," framed as though this and many other cliches are not tired repetitions of the same harmful notions that have caused the suicide, substance abuse, and despair of so many whose prayers weren't answered.

I don't have answers for this. Every time I think I have a knot untangled, I realize that one of the loops was actually ensnared in a bigger knot. But I have seen a small glimmer of hope packaged in a Facebook thread, so I'd like to share it with you. I think that it exemplifies many of principles I had hoped for in my post about bringing civility to online discussions. I'm going to share it with you with the names redacted to initials (if you were involved in this thread and would like your full name included, let me know):

My initial post:
"I have no good words for today. My heart hurts to see the ‪#‎baltimore‬ ‪#‎blacklivesmatter‬ push for equality when I selfishly want 24/7 coverage of ‪#‎lovemustwin‬ ‪#‎scotus‬ ‪#‎marriageequality‬ because the outcome of that benefits me. My heart hurts to see how slowly we're arcing toward justice. Let's join together to pray for equality and peace, beloved humans."

Response from L:
"It's not selfish when you're fighting for equality as well. It's sad that the rioters are getting more attention than the other 10,000 peaceful #blacklivesmatter protestors. Your battle matters as much as theirs, even though theirs is different because of recent events that have unfolded. Keep fighting for human equality and never think you're selfish about it, because you're not a selfish person."

My response:
"Although I'm obviously not rioting, and I don't support violence, I understand how they feel. They have peacefully protested for decades, tried to get the right to vote to change things, have tried the things that society tells them to do, and have seen little, or even no, progress. I'm hopeful, because marriage equality is in the courts and following procedure and may get recognition legally, but I'm fed up after just a few years in this fight."

Response from L:
"It sucks because violence doesn't solve violence. They feel they have no other option. They need a strong advocate to help lead them in a positive direction or else it's just going to get worse. We sadly live in a backward nation that has always seen skin color as a separator. At this moment it's a fight between the protectors of society and an entire race of humans. A strong human being needs to step up and become someone who is worthy of changing history for these misguided people. Social media also needs to stop televising the riots because it's only evoking fear and feeding society with hatred instead of inspiring change."

My response:
"I can't help feeling that they've had strong leaders, peaceful ones, more than most of us even know, and many have been assassinated. MLK was one of many. They don't need to come up with a leader. Society needs to change."

Response from R:
"There are many factors that have gone into these riots, as you have stated. Change is needed. Changes in police policy. Changes in the way we discuss our problems in our homes. Changes in visible Black leadership (because Erin is right, for every MLK Jr. and Malcom X there are many, many less visual leaders of the black community). And changes in our hearts. Because it isn't an us or them issue. It is a human rights issue.
And quite frankly, my heart hurts going on Facebook after these events. People just spew hate.
And Erin, I hope your change comes today. " (emphasis applied by Erin)