I know you are working overtime to make money around Valentines' Day. I heard your commercial trying to convince me that you have a card for every love story.
You have a lot of cards. That fit a lot of love stories. But I guarantee you don't have one that says:
"I'm so glad I took you, as my college roommate, to Indian food and the Spartan Discords for Valentines' Day our senior year of college. And fell in love with you."
Or
"I'm glad we started a now-defunct urban farming non-profit so we could meet so many wonderful people."
Or
"I'm glad you asked me to go with you to medical school, and I'm grateful we both survived."
You don't have a card that says:
"I would fight for marriage equality with you for a hundred more years if it meant we'd be together."
Or
"#fixerupperdetroit is only perfect because I'm doing it with you. You're my home, now and forever, no matter where we end up."
Maybe that's because Valentines' Day is still very heteronormative.
"#fixerupperdetroit is only perfect because I'm doing it with you. You're my home, now and forever, no matter where we end up."
In our case, though, I think even if we were straight, our love story would be unusual. I think that in this world, it is rare and hard and beautiful for helpmates to truly find each other and be able to move in the same direction. I'm so grateful that Rebecca and I have known each other for so long and have chosen to love fiercely, even when our story was nontraditional, even when the legal system denied us recognition, even though our families didn't approve. Life isn't a romantic comedy. There aren't very many happily ever afters. The loose ends don't get tied up. Just when you get closed on your dream home, the land bank posts a seizure notice.
Rebecca spent fourteen hours today caring for pediatric patients at DMC Children's Hospital. She isn't home yet but should be soon. She will be exhausted, and she will complain, but she will also light up to tell me about the father who stayed to suction his infant daughter's nose, tap her chest to help her breathe, and sit by her side. She will laugh at the antics of her adolescent patients.
Supporting that is much more in the spirit of St Valentine than a box of chocolates ever could be.
http://inthejoyofthelord.blogspot.ca/2016/01/issue-1-rainbow-humans.html
ReplyDeleteOther than a hint that homosexuality is a sin, how do you feel this addresses this blog post? Have you read other posts in this blog?
DeleteOr, since we're posting unaccompanied links, see this one: http://committinginthemitten.blogspot.com/2016/01/confessions-i-dont-read-homophobic.html
DeleteI sort of feel bad for posting it on this particular post, but I really don't feel bad about what I wrote in that post. I had meant to post it on this other post where you mentioned that "praying away the gay" did not help. I have read other posts and I like them, but I don't think a sin should ever be condoned by knowingly engaging in it. Even if someone has a tendency toward it.
DeleteI wasn't asking you to feel bad - unlike most truth-and-gracers, shaming people isn't my goal. I was asking you to listen, to try to understand, and to respond as a reflection of that, not just copy/paste a link from an unrelated post. I encourage honest discussion, but that requires much more clarity than you provided. I still don't understand why your post relates to any of my recent entries. My monogamous, Christ-centered, kingdom-building marriage to my helpmate is not a sin. If you would like to comment cogently and relevantly on topics at hand, I will be able to respond more productively.
DeleteYou are condoning the sin of homosexuality by having a relationship with a helpmate of the same gender/sex. That’s what that post was getting at. The linked post also mentions (although it is not a very prominent point or a very clear point, I suppose) that everyone has a tendency towards certain sins, and if one really, truly wishes to try and take away the sin (“pray the gay away”) and prays to God, He (God) will help to suppress it; however, because it is a sin, it can never disappear completely. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you should be celibate; one can still have a relationship with the opposite sex despite the tendency. Someone can love the same sex, too, but not in a way that constitutes a marriage or a relationship higher than a brotherly/sisterly or “parent-and-child” relationship.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis discussion is essentially intractable. You believe that my marriage is a sin when it isn't. You can cite multiple Scripture verses that translate something to the word homosexuality that support your argument. I can cite cultural context and commandments to love and serve to support my argument. I can also cite the number of people who tried to "pray away the gay" to please the truth-and-gracers and ended up alone, suicidal, and/or addicted to substances (I dare you to read http://www.thekevingarcia.com/i-tried-to-pray-the-gay-away-and-it-nearly-killed-me/ and then repeat this argument). Even the leaders of ex-gay ministries have admitted that they are very unsuccessful in changing orientation and that celibacy isn't viable for everyone. Paul himself stated that. I did pray that God would make me straight. I tried to have relationships with men. The more I did, the more clear it became that all of me - spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical being - was meant to be with Rebecca. As I have stated multiple times in this blog (including in the above link), I have heard your argument before, a thousand times, whether whispered, implied, written, or shouted at my face. Repeating such an argument over and over as though it is new is not going to change reality, theology, or my mind. See http://committinginthemitten.blogspot.com/2016/01/confessions-i-dont-read-homophobic.html if you would like to see the points made in truth-and-grace arguments that would need to be rectified to create a new argument on this point.
DeleteCultural context has nothing to do with it. The Bible stands through all time. If it says a woman must be subject to her husband, the woman must be subject to her husband, even if today's world does not agree with it. The Bible says "let a woman keep silence in the church." That means she should keep quiet in the church and ask her husband at home if she does not understand something. Today's world spouts "equality for women; therefore women can preach." But no, that is not true, the Bible says women are not allowed to speak in the church, so they cannot be preachers/pastors. Likewise, with "homosexuality." The Bible's argument against this sin is that those who choose it have turned their mind to immorality ("reprobate mind") by engaging in it so much, they don't feel their conscience prick them anymore. The reason they choose to engage in it is because they "changed the image of an uncorruptible God (as we remember, God made us all in his image) into an image made like to corruptible man." So basically, homosexuality is defiling God and His image. I mentioned celibacy, because I know many religions recommend it. I myself do not believe celibacy is for everyone. I read that one link to the website. It is rubbish. Those who truly want to change will change, or rather, they won't engage in it in the first place.
ReplyDeleteDo you realize how many respected denominations of Christianity do allow women to preach? In fact, very few ban women from speaking at church. Most have women serving as children's ministers, missionaries, guest speakers, and even regular clergy at this point. That analogy only strengthens the point that culture influences church practices. And the fact that you found one man's incredibly honest, heartbreaking narrative about his sincere effort and prayer to change his sexual orientation and the attempt at suicide it lead him to to be "rubbish" is indicative that your heart is hard and cold, and that you really don't understand how to love your neighbor. A theology that teaches you to disregard human suffering is not one that I would ever claim to share. In truth, I'm not sure your theology is even Christian, nor do I think that Jesus would recognize your beliefs as His.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYes, I do realize that many Christian denominations allow women to preach. Even mine does, I am sorry to say; my particular church doesn't, because we know what the Bible says about it, but my denomination does. It still doesn't mean it is right. To tell you the truth, I actually was thankful that he didn't commit suicide, but it still doesn't give the excuse to continue with certain practices. Everyone gets tempted by suicidal thoughts (Judas committed suicide, because the Devil "entered his heart). Anyway, that is all I am going to say. I picked on you when I maybe shouldn't have and I am sorry. I like the way you speak, despite the fact that I disagree with your views.
Delete