I've posted a lot of ideas for food here. There are also posts about vegetarian substitutions, what I think about restrictive diets and feeding friends who follow them, and events I've hosted.
In undergrad and my MA, I was required to write my teaching philosophy as a class assignment. That would probably be a good idea to do again - or maybe not, since I'm guessing my cynicism is showing. I thought it might be helpful, at the beginning of the year, at a time when I'm working to get as healthy and whole as I can, to write my food philosophy. And then I thought, "Why not share that with all of you?"
A little background, first, on the assumptions about food I grew up with. My upbringing was very WASPy. White, part British, part French, part American mutt. Very Baptist, with encouragement of gender roles, including girls needing to get married and being pushed into being stay at home moms, or at least choosing careers that work well for having children (nothing wrong with that, but operating under the assumption that it's the best thing for every woman can create some issues). And much of Western thought, particularly Protestant thought, is actually based on Platonic dualism. My upbringing wasn't an exception.
What is Platonic dualism? In essence, it's the belief that the body is separate from the mind or the spirit, and that the body represents our base nature. Our bodies must do the same things as animals - eat, sleep, have sex, eliminate waste. Our minds and spirits can transcend animals to speak, reason, create, etc.
Combine that with the notion that women gain value from marriage, and suddenly looking attractive becomes really important, while food becomes less so. In modern Western culture, looking attractive, classy, educated, etc, is partially signaled by being skinny. Really skinny. I was convinced by the powers that be that it was my job to be attractive for my future spouse, and that he would want me to be a size 4. Occasionally, it was implied that even under 130 pounds and 5'7" or so, I needed to lose weight. Ironically, I also remember being told that my breasts were too small for most men (I have since learned that the body types preferred by men are as varied as the people who exist on this planet, thankfully. I will forever be grateful to the men who explained this to me.). While some of these things might sound extreme articulated this way, and some of this may indeed be more extreme than normal, I wouldn't be surprised to find that a vast majority of women have heard things like this.
This resulted in me operating, for a while, in a system where eating was bad; we did it because we had to, but calories of any kind were really the enemy. Fat calories were the worst because they made you the fattest. Being hungry and tired became so much part of my existence that I didn't even realize it was possible not to feel that way. I didn't have an eating disorder, if you look at the requirements. But my eating habits weren't exceptionally "ordered" either. Sometimes, even into the year after I graduated from college, I would binge eat secretly, not realizing that it was partially because I was hungry and probably short on nutrients. Then I would feel terrible, both because I never binged on things that were good for me and because I thought I was a terrible person for . . . being hungry. Eating. Enjoying food. Enjoying junk food.
During my MA, when I became more financially independent and Rebecca and I were finally living together as a couple, we started talking about these things. At some point, I realized that calories weren't the enemy - they gave me the energy that I needed to think, move, and enjoy life. I also learned that buying bigger pants really wasn't the end of the world and that someone could love me even if my BMI was higher than 17. I stopped viewing certain foods as "the worst" and started paying attention to food I liked, flavors that pleased me, the way I felt after I ate.
Going into the second year of my MA, I ended up with gastritis. The exact cause is unknown, but it was likely a combination of the meds I was taking and some sleep cycle issues, possibly combined with blood sugar fluctuations. In any case, I was nauseated. A lot. I dropped a lot of weight. Many of my clothes didn't fit. I struggled to have enough energy. I also had a weird psychological thing many days where only certain foods sounded good enough to eat, because I had almost no appetite. I lived on simple carbs a lot of the time in an effort to get something through my system and absorbed.
And more than one person told me that I "looked great." Yes, my tummy was flat. Yes, the size 4 pants finally fit. Yes, I could wear sheath dresses and a bathing suit and all of the things I'd always believed I was too big for. But I was miserable. I was tired all of the time. I went through a phase where I was dizzy, and my head was foggy (which was from things in addition to nutrition, but it didn't help matters).
I don't know when I heard this. Maybe much longer ago than I believed it. But someone told me that if I couldn't find joy at 150 pounds, I wouldn't have joy at 125, either.
That person was right.
I couldn't tell you exactly when it happened. But I decided to change my whole philosophy of food. So here it is:
I was created with a need to eat food so that I can do what I'm called to do, which is to love God and other humans. Food provides me with energy and nutrients that allow my body to function at its best (or worst) depending on the choices that I make. My body will tell me if I'm doing a good job if I listen to it. Therefore, I won't judge foods based on what others tell me. I won't ban certain foods. Instead, I will focus on eating foods that provide the nutrients that my body needs, prepared in ways that I enjoy. I won't stop eating if I'm still hungry, and I will work to stop eating when I'm full, not out of a sense of guilt or shame, but because my body feels the best when I do. When my body feels its best, my mind will work better, and I'll be more prepared to love people.
If you're looking to get skinny on this philosophy, stop. I can't say that I'm skinnier now than I've ever been, or that I look more like a runway model. I can say that I have more energy, that my skin has started to clear up, and I care less what the number on a clothing tag says (okay, still working on that one, but I did buy a bigger size today without a meltdown). I can also tell you that it is immensely empowering to know that I'm doing things that are good for me - that this is my body, and I can choose what happens to it.
Do you have a food philosophy? I think most people do, whether they've thought about it or not. What's yours?
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