Note: this is a guest post from my friend Kate Scheuber. As with my own posts, she is sharing her experience in an attempt to shed light on a complicated situation. Her comments ring true for me too in many ways. I hope my readers will show her lots of love and support.
"When you get engaged, you expect people to be excited for you. After all, it means you finally found the person who has captured your heart so entirely that you can’t imagine your life without them. Some people have been. My brother and his wife immediately took us out to dinner to celebrate. My fiance’s mother comes over all the time with wedding magazines she picks out specifically because there is a featured lesbian wedding in it. My cousin who I almost never talk to messaged me to tell me how happy he was for us and that he knew my mom was looking down on me, smiling. My dad even went dress shopping with me.
Other reactions have not been quite as pleasant. Some people mean well. But even that comes with its own baggage. My least favorite part is the questions. I answer each one diplomatically. It is incredibly difficult to do so.
When people ask me, “Did she get a ring, too?”, I answer, “Yes, she did.” In my head, I am thinking, “No, we flipped a coin to see who wins the ring. Because obviously there can only be one diamond ring in a relationship.”
When people ask, “Which one of you is wearing a suit?”, I answer, “We both are wearing dresses.” In my head I am wanting to respond, “Not every lesbian couple is Ellen and Portia!”
When people say, “You do realize it is still illegal in Michigan for you two to get married, right?” I want to scream. I answer “Yes, I do, but we are hoping that is changed before 2016.” I hold my tongue and do not tell them that do not need to remind me that in the state I love, I am being denied the right to marry the person that I love. I do not tell them that I feel they are accusing me of simply wanting a party and presents.
We are choosing to get married in Michigan because that is where the majority of our friends and family reside. We are choosing to get married in Michigan because we want to share it with them.
Because that is what is happening on May 21, 2016. I will be getting married to the love of my life. Regardless of what some judge somewhere says. I may not have the paper to prove it, but I will be married.""
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