Two women seeking equality in a state where some couples are more equal than others.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Before Photos: Not What You Expect

Some of you have heard that we bought a home in Detroit.

Some of you also know that our home needs some repairs and renovating, that it has lead paint and asbestos, and that the previous seller didn't maintain it well.

Some of you have expressed concern for us or surprise that we would choose such a home.

And I know there are some who assume this is typical of a home in Detroit. The city has suffered from too many photographers profiting from the haunting images of abandoned train stations, concert halls, mansions, etc. People have said that we're brave for buying this home.

Instead of trying to tell you otherwise, I've dusted off my iMovie skills to bring you the before photo tour of our new home!

It already doesn't look like this - demolition has begun - but I hope you will see what I see.





Tuesday, December 15, 2015

A Big Day for #fixerupperdetroit

We had the first work done on the house today - the boiler works! Which also means that our pipes won't freeze and neither will our butts. And that we've taken a step, though small (we need more work done on the heating system), it feels good to have done something.

I also took some pictures, though the light wasn't great today. Imagine that it isn't gloomy and empty. Or let me know when you want to come see my neighborhood!




Monday, December 14, 2015

Abigail Fisher, Affirmative Action, & Nepotism

My social media feeds have included a quite a bit about a Supreme Court case - Fisher v. University of Texas - regarding affirmative action (a topic I also address in a previous post). It is not the goal of this post to provide background on the case, though you can read more here, and many have offered very worthwhile commentary on the need for affirmative action, the hegemony of White privilege, and the racism inherent in the US education system. Check out #staymadabby for more.

I stand by my earlier assertion that we need affirmative action.

And I want to bring up something people keep missing.

I want to give you insight to another tool being used in admissions, one many might consider unfair if it weren't so pervasive, so ingrained, that we don't even notice it. And it heavily benefits Whites.

Yes.

And it isn't exactly racism, even. Though it does end up perpetuating systemic inequality in addition to the racism involved in the funding of K-12 schools, colleges, admissions, and other factors. That is, it is one of many problems, but it is one that seems largely ignored.

I mention nepotism in the title of this post. In fact, nepotism is a much larger factor in admissions than anyone would like to admit.

How so?

Have you ever noticed a little box on the admissions application to almost every program in higher education? It's labeled legacy, or it may say, "do you have a family member that has attended this institution? Or program?"

It's a box that I have never gotten to check. My family members did not attend institutions that had the majors or programs that I needed, so I didn't get to. Many say this box is not that important. They say that it gives only a minimal admissions boost, or is used only for data collection. But the statistics don't lie. Legacy consideration, according to a Harvard study referenced in the Chronicle of Higher Education, may drastically improve an applicant's chances. In fact, some studies suggest that legacy status may be the equivalent of adding 160 points on the SAT (on a 400-1600 scale, as was typical before 2005 and will be again in 2016). Let me tell you, given my line of work, that I know test scores: 160 points is a LOT.

Abigail Fisher would have gotten to check that box. Her father and sister both went to UT. So in fact, one could argue, and I believe Abigail Fisher believes, that she deserved a spot partly because her family had attended that institution before her. And she wanted to continue that tradition. It seems innocent enough.

But she already had an advantage in admissions to an elite institution that many students wouldn't, and disproportionately, students from racial minority backgrounds wouldn't. Given that institutions of higher education were segregated until relatively recently, and that admissions legacy policies benefited White students for a long time after, White students actually still have an admissions advantage that no one is discussing. Because if your grandparents, or your parents, your aunts and uncles, could not get into the school of their/your choosing due to racial bias, then you automatically have a disadvantage.

And this makes it ever more important that we use affirmative action to make sure that seats are given to the students who cannot check the legacy box. Those who would like to ban affirmative action policies by arguing that they prevent the most qualified applicants from attending a school should ALSO be complaining about the legacy policies.

How strange that they complain about policies that benefit racial minorities and are silent about policies that favor Whites.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Enormous News: #househuntersdetroit style

Quickest post ever:

After several exhausting months, two purchase agreements, eight days past our closing date, hundreds of dollars in inspections, many nights of lost sleep, and lots of relayed arguments with the seller . . .

We closed last night thanks to the help and encouragement of our realtor, mortgage agent, title company, network of inspectors, family, friends, church, new neighbors, and others who love Detroit.

More details, commentary, pictures, to come.

So, so much more paperwork to get set up.

So many repairs to do.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Living in my Happy Place: #househuntersdetroit reflection

I worked a full day yesterday - 8+ hours between tutoring and driving, four students in four different locations. I typically try not to pack a Saturday so much, but it ended up happening. I came home to all of the moldy laundry done - which also means we're no longer allergic to our closet. Given our allergy, doing this laundry is almost debilitating, but we need clothes to wear and the insurance adjuster hasn't given me an action step yet on having someone else do it. So by the time I arrived home from work, Rebecca had spent the whole day exposed to mold spores and was curled up on the couch.

I've found that leaving the apartment while the dust mites and mold spores settle is usually helpful, so I dragged her to the city with me.

And on the way, I realized something. Most days, when I'm feeling happy, or sad, or overwhelmed, there's a place in the city I want to go. Belle Isle. The Charles Wright Museum. The Fisher Theatre. Rose's Fine Food. Eastern Market. The People Mover. The sleep porch at our house.

Our house.

And I realized: we are working to buy something, a home, a haven, in my happy place. I realized that I will have the fluttery feeling I get from catching a glimpse of tree-lined streets, or the Detroit skyline, or the bridge to Belle Isle - every time I pull into my driveway. I'll be able to tuck myself into the sleeping porch (soon to be my writing studio) with a cup of tea and write, or draw, or sit with a cat on my lap and look out at the tree tops.

I am so blessed. And I have worked so hard. And it feels good to realize that working so hard sometimes leads to something, because for a long, long time in the Recession and when my civil rights were denied over and over, it felt like maybe working hard wouldn't result in happiness. It was starting to feel like drudgery.

So we tried to go to Noel Night, decided it was too crowded, and then ended up at Downtown Louie's Lounge, a cozy Albanian American spot near Campus Martius. We had cheese plate and rosemary fries and lemon souffle and talked about finding a new place like that close to our house.

We're not closed yet, but just the dreams have done my soul good.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Confessions - If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry: The 9 Stages of Moving

I couldn't tell you now how many times Rebecca and I have been involved in moving without sitting down and counting over the last ten years. A lot. That has given me some insight into the moving process - I wouldn't say we're pros or anything, but repetition has bred reflection. So here are the stages I find recognizable throughout our years of semi-nomadic life.

One.

Realizing that there is a need to move.

Two.

Seeking and finding a new apartment.

Three.

Packing, which is mostly procrastinating and thinking about packing, and then really packing at the very last minute. Some boxes are packing strategically at first, with labels and good intentions, and then as you pick up steam, you end up with random boxes you know you will hate yourself for later. The more notice one has in steps one and two, the better job you will do on step three.

Four.

Moving some of the stuff to the new place, but not all, so you now have stuff in two places, and you're not really sure which stuff is where. Also, the stuff that you wish were at the new place is never at the new place. You buy more cat food.

Five.

All of the stuff is at the new place, but you don't know where any of it is really, you don't know which box, you don't know where to put it, and life is hard right now. You are struggling to survive on takeout, once you can find a spoon, and your toiletries might still not be located. So then you buy new deodorant.

Six.

You you have the essentials unpacked (those of you who have moved a lot of times feel me on this one). You know where there is a spoon, and a couple plates, and your soap, and a bottle of some kind of shampoo, which may not be your favorite shampoo, but it will get your hair clean. This is a dangerous stage. The risk of plateau is high. You are no longer going to starve, and your coworkers probably won't notice that your hygiene practices are subpar and with any luck, there will be something that pushes you into stage . . .

Seven.

In stage seven you have now on packed enough to be able to perform fairly simple household tasks, including preparing simple meals, bathing, including with your normal toiletries, and you may even have located an extra set of towels. The boxes have been shifted out of the bulk of the living area, furniture is in a somewhat workable arrangement, and that you are generally doing OK at this part. The risk of plateau here: exceedingly high. You are now functioning like an almost real adult (or as real an adult as you ever do). At this point what you need, what is really essential, to push you above the threshold, is the possibility of having company, or needing to make something complicated for some reason. The holidays may also serve. I'm somewhere around this stage hoping to head into . . .

Eight.

This is the stage where you are actually moved into your apartment. You have everything you intend to use for the next few months, things arranged, and it may almost feels like home at this point. Your cats are no longer panicking, and have mostly accepted your new environment. You have established a clear daily routine and can typically find the things you need. This stage is one that may or may not ever be attained, and those who manage it are to be commended.

Nine.

Nirvana. This is the stage when the walls are painted, the rugs are rolled out, the art is hung, you may have a established your own lighting, or additional power strips, or whatever the finishing touches are for you. Many people never achieve this status. Rebecca and I probably will not in this current apartment. We'll essentially be trying to do this step on the house while living in our apartment.

And I've accepted that.